48 hour duty on christmas eve and christmas day..

meant that i spent my lovely christmas in camp playing the psp cheo lent me!

well actually i need not do duty on both days..the duty clerk job on christmas eve is on pure goodwill..i decided to help after this poor chap whose dad has already passed away and his mum is also very ill came to my branch and look for the duty clerk planner to ask for a swap of duty..and he went with him around to look for replacement duty clerks but then noone willing to swap..so well i just have to help him..cos my family is overseas anyway so i have to spend my christmas alone might as well let him have more family time

then on christmas, i thought i could go home but then the duty spec that day never turn up cos he wasn't informed of his duty..maybe cos RO put my name but i know it was already changed by the guy who planned..then my senior who happened to be the DOO as well as the CDSO who seemed very nice just ask me to stay and help..so ok lah..i am fine with it..just feel a bit disappointed that i can't go home sleep so i stayed in camp and perform my duties..continue playing PSP lol..

so i am finally home on boxing day lol...but ok lah at least next week i can get ample rest...and today am on off lol..

anyway my dearest one..on christmas i am thinking of you very dearly but i wondered if your thoughts have ever strayed to me on this holy and joyous day..i just hope that you can have a blessed christmas and if you remembered me, do not tell me..cos i will just wait and continue to wait until the day you say yes to me..

爱已不能动
还有什么值得我心痛
想你的天空 下起雨来
没人心疼的黑夜
脸颊两行硷硷的泪水
是你 哦 是你
让我望穿泪水 肝肠寸断


你怎么舍得让我的泪流向海
付出的感情永远 找不回来
你怎么舍得让我的爱流向海
伤心的往事一幕幕就像潮水
将我掩埋

闭上了双眼 还看见和你的缠绵
眼角的泪水 喜不去心中一遍一遍的誓言

你怎么舍得让我的泪流向海
付出的感情永远 找不回来
你怎么舍得让我的爱流向海
伤心的往事一幕幕就像潮水
将我掩埋

對你的思念　是一天又一天
孤單的我還是沒有改變
美麗的夢　何時才能出現
親愛的你　好想再見你一面

秋天的風　一陣陣的吹過
想起了去年的這個時候
你的心到底在想些什麼
為什麼留下這個結局讓我承受

最愛你的人是我　你怎麼捨得我難過
在我最需要你的時候　沒有說一句話就走
最愛你的人是我　你怎麼捨得我難過
對你付出了這麼多　你卻沒有感動過

the song that reflects my mood now

會有那麼一天　－　林俊傑 (JJ Lin)

一九四三　世界大戰　阿嬤年輕的時候
爺爺愛她那麼多　他們感情很深
但是爺爺　身負重任　就在離鄉的那夜
給了阿嬤一個吻　輕聲說道

我要離去　別在哭泣　不要傷心　請妳相信我
要等待　我的愛　陪妳永不離開
因為會有那麼一天
我們牽著手在草原　聽 鳥兒歌唱的聲音
聽我說聲我愛妳　

夕陽西下　鳥兒回家　阿嬤躺在病床上
呼吸有一點散漫　眼神卻很溫柔
看著爺爺　濕透的眼　握著她粗糙的手
阿嬤淚水開始流　輕聲說道　

我要離去　別在哭泣　不要傷心　請你相信我
要等待　我的愛　陪你永不離開
因為會有那麼一天
我們牽著手在草原　聽 鳥兒歌唱的聲音
聽我說聲我愛你

i love this song man..

last night when dblo lol..

quite a cool place...will go there next time again if have chance...

love is a simple thing..but i dunno why

maybe it has always been a roleplay on my own.. thinking that prob that we have a chance even when she has left me two years ago and she has already rejected me then...

i keep thinking that maybe one day we can meet back here again...

but all that prob is just my imagination...

when i heard that she was back, but only through my friend..my mind was in a blank..it was an outing that night and i suddenly just didn't have the mood to say anything anymore...

i keep asking myself why she didn't tell me when she is back..why couldn't we meet...and i put it off as my selfishness...maybe she needs more family time, maybe she needs more time with her friends and maybe we are not really that close and i wouldn't be on her list of people whoms he wanna meet...

yes my heart do hurt..but i know i am already numbed..

my friends tell me to let go..i dunno if i should..because i always believe that even when there is one percent chance, we must not lose hope..but now i am beginning to doubt if this one percent was only part of my imagination...

i dunno how to keep on loving you anymore because i am already so tired..i think i need a break..maybe i am bugging you too much..maybe we all need some breathing space..and i am always the selfish one who is imagining too much..that we can be more than just friends..

maybe it's time to let go

Lonely the path you have chosen
A restless road, no turning back
One day you will find your light again
Don't you know
Don't let go be strong

Follow your heart
Let your love lead through the darkness
Back to a place you once knew
I believe I believe I believe in you
Follow your dreams
Be yourself an angel of kindness
There's nothing that you cannot do
I believe I believe I believe in you

Tout seul
Tu t'en iras tout seul
Cœur ouvert
A l'univers
Poursuis ta quête
Sans regarder derrière
N'attends pas
Que le jour
Se lève

Suis ton étoile
Va jusqu'où ton rêve t'emporte
Un jour tu le toucheras
Si tu crois, si tu crois, si tu crois
En toi

Suis ta lumière
N'éteins pas la flamme que tu portes
Au fond de toi souviens-toi
Que je crois, que je crois, que je crois
En toi

Someday I'll find you
Someday you'll find me too
And when I hold you close
I know that it's true

Follow your heart
Let your love lead through the darkness
Back to a place you once knew
I believe I believe I believe in you

Follow your dreams
Be yourself an angel of kindness
There's nothing that you cannot do
I believe I believe I believe in you

i love you and believe that one day we will meet and be in love..hopefully our future lies together ahead my dearest..i miss you even if you are far away and i cannot see you now but the occasional email i get from you every two or three months is enough...

love you dear

haha it is november already

17 more days before i going on leave back to taiwan...

accidentally knocked my head against the wall the other day..sigh still hurts

and went to watch tropic thunder and rec* which are quite cool lol...

today as i was on the mrt on my way home, i accidentally, note the word "accidentally" peek at the uncle who was messaging on his phone...

pardon me for being rude, but his message was kinda interesting so i continue looking...oops..i think i am getting more of a busybody..but here goes: "if given a choice, do you think you would love someone or love yourself more?" well this sound kinda familiar..so i started thinking the philosophical side of the question..hmm..relates back to the movie i watched yesterday..Vicky Cristina Barcelona...well Vicky is someone who loves someone more than herself..she has a nice marriage and she loves her fiancee..yet a chance encouter with the flamboyant artist Juan Antonio caused her inner flame to burn..she has an immensely deep affection for Juan Antonio yet her love for her fiancee outweigh her own love for herself to satisfy her needs and she broke off with Juan Antonio...on the other hand, Cristina is a person who loves herself more than anyone else..she loves Juan Antonio and would not mind sharing him with his ex-wife Maria Elena..and actually she was just loving herself, satisfying her sexual desires and finally departing when she feel that the desire for the both of them is no longer that strong..so well actually to the question, there is no ultimate answer and i would not even have an answer yet for such a heavy question now...

okay..anyway yesterday's movie was kinda messy..had a five minute interlude when everything went blank...but well GV is nice to give us complimentary tickets to compensate our emotional torture for the bloody five minutes when we have to stare at the blank screen and think what the heck is going on...

when i was on the train back today..was kinda emo and quiet..sigh don't really know why..but was just thinking and thinking..because i had read a novel in which the main character has so little memories of his past...seems like me..i seems to be forgetting my childhood days..or do i even have childhood days..the sweet times i had when i was in primarys chool and secondary schools..how can i keep in touch...i don't want to lose my memory...of teh precious moments i shared with my friends..

but now is a new chapter for all of us..but i will know that if i have flipped back to my previous chapters, i would like to see that they remained filled and i can recollect fondly of the nice, sweet people around me...i am beginning to stop missing the people who had left and i will not feel guilty because i know we will still remember each other deep down in our hearts...

if there is one thing i wanna rewrite, maybe to know more people better and to love her more bravely from the start

Yesterday went to see my friends, eileen and su hui at NTU..haha because my friend hua zhou ask me whether want to go crash their hall and so i agreed..

but firstly i went to find xin hui who is also studying at NTU lol..had dinner and after dinner, suddenly hua zhou and su hui came over to find me..after i had eaten lol..they met up first ...

after that we went to su hui's room, her room is kinda cool..has a lot of yummy food...oops i mean looks kinda cosy...quite small but all the necessary stuff all have..talked a bit..mostly listen to them talk while we wait for eileen to finish her basketball training....cos i am very tired..the previous few days have been sleeping after 12 am..

then eileen finally came lol..she ran all the way back..haha still as red as ever...then we went her room enjoy aircon and talk somemore..haha she mixed up her roomie's dad's crest as the one that can help prevent ghosts lol..but police's crest like no use leh..i think army one more effective lol...

yup then eileen ordered supper, but i already asked cedrick and benjamin eat with me at jurong point already so i didn't want to eat...and i am too tired..feel more and more sleepy and quiet...

but glad that they are doing well in NTU haha and glad to see them again after so long lol...

yup tmr will be out whole day again most likely..then sunday shall go hunt for a new phone...yea!!!! maybe tmr will also go drinking if i feel like lol...

auld lang syne cum angstyness

窗外的大雨　
淋濕冰冷的空氣　
好羨慕　天空可以哭泣

孤單的往前進　
我答應過我自己　
要贏到世界交給你

忘了多久沒有擁抱你　
我沒有流淚的時間　
沒有後悔的餘地

請原諒我那麼執著　
為了夢追到天空角落
伸手捉住風　我放開了你　
沒想過沒有溫度的愛有多痛

請原諒我讓你一個人過　
失去了你　還要夢想做什麼
這一次　我會握緊你的手　
一錯再錯　什麼都不懂的是我

都放在心裡　愛就失去了意義　
為什麼我到現在才醒
等待有多委屈　
你是否傷透了心　
告訴我來不來得及

忘了多久沒有擁抱你　
我沒有流淚的時間　
沒有後悔的餘地

請原諒我那麼執著　
為了夢追到天空角落
伸手捉住風　我放開了你　
沒想過沒有溫度的愛有多痛

請原諒我讓你一個人過　
失去了你　
還要夢想做什麼
這一次　我會握緊你的手　
一錯再錯　什麼都不懂的是我

請原諒我讓你寂寞　
這世上至少你要懂我
這一次換我在夜裡等候　
從今以後　你是我唯一的執著

sigh so many people have left. yesterday night, the last batch of people who are leaving for imperial had finally left..including my good friend ang xiao ting whom i will miss dearly, her mum treated us to popeyes haha at terminal 1..sigh and of course huanghuan..a friend of mine for seven years already

i went to the airport wanting to send only them off..in the end i ended up finding more familiar faces poping up at the same row in terminal 3 haha my army friend samuel from Bravo SISPEC, who got OMS Scholarsip, meihui and jasmine liu, my ex-prefect schoolmates, guiyi, a french connection cca-mate who claimed i daoed her when she waved at me and some more people..sigh..just too many people leaving

ok i think i should stop emo-ing while missing them, i must not forget that i still have very good friends here like jonny, benjamin, cheo, cedrick, michael, adrian, ian and the ever violent charmander and her "husband" ggy, as well as nelson, daniel, dylan, and all the rest haha so many to mention...

on hari raya, i sent her off too..i dunno why..i just stone there and maybe just said three words to her..take care, good bye and bon voyage...but well so she has left too..

i also begin to miss those who are overseas already..like alex, twinses..yanyi...and jiaqi..

sigh i really should stop angsting..

and i should start applying for overseas school which is going to be quite rush..so..well...

anyway..she still haven't replied to my question yet..i would always like to think that she is too busy to see my email..maybe that would comfort me more...maybe she is being happy now that she won't have the time to reply me..maybe i should just let her go...she is happy where she are now..doing her favourite degree, pursuing her favourite dance..so maybe i should be the one letting go of hope and give up..it was all unrequitted love on my part anyway...


彩虹
身为一道彩虹
雨过了就该闪亮整片天空
让我深爱的你感到光荣
身为一道彩虹
尽全力也要换你一段笑容
够了 我爱你 不必人懂
只要不醒过来 这就不是梦

请看着我 请拥抱我 体温别流走
好多话想说 好多事要做
请天空给我 请时间给我
再多一点停留

身为一道彩虹
雨过了就该闪亮整片天空
让我深爱的你感到光荣
身为一道彩虹
尽全力也要换你一段笑容
够了 我爱你 不必人懂
亲爱的你 若有感动 请牢记在心中

下一次下雨 你能看见的 那道彩虹
不再可能是我

身为一道彩虹
雨过了就该闪亮整片天空
让我深爱的你感到光荣
身为一道彩虹
尽全力也要换你一段笑容
够了 我爱你 不必人懂(只要你懂)
身为一道彩虹 ......

《外套》
我早该知道你只是偶尔的需要
习惯了你的味道挡风成了我的骄傲
每个心跳开始都计算不到
难道给我的回报只是陪你在他的怀抱
做你的外套只能穿梭你的外表
听到你对他的撒娇可笑的是我没资格计较
做你的外套拥抱著却不被拥抱
我是谁你知不知道怎能随便穿上又换掉
我能拥有什么答案早就明了
学会哭也能笑 oh no
怎么不听劝告怎么不被想要
还在为你效劳会不会疯掉
还在为你效劳你知不知道

finally a tribute to my friends

should all acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind
should all acquaintance be forgot and days of auld lang syne
for auld lang syne my dear
for auld lang syne
we'ill take a cup of kindness yet
for auld lang syne

不要问不要说
一切尽在不言中
这一刻偎著烛光
让我们静静的渡过
莫挥手
莫回头
当我唱起这首歌
怕只怕
泪水轻轻的滑落

愿心中永远留著我的笑容
伴你走过每一个舂夏秋冬

几许愁
几许忧
人生难免苦与痛
失去过才能真正懂得去珍惜和拥有
情难舍
人难留
今朝一别各西东
冷和热
点点滴滴在心头

愿心中永远留著我的笑容
伴你走过每一个春夏秋冬

伤离别
离别虽然在眼前
说再见
再见不会太遥远
若有缘
有缘就能期待明天
你和我重逢在灿烂的季节

i will miss you guys

为着你今天要来找我
从早上等到深夜
阮总是相信你会跟阮来作伴
犹原没影没只
我不敢想那没你甘会像我
按怎都我的生命
寒风也冷不过你对我的心肝
哪通糟蹋着我
爱着你心惊惊
想着你心痛痛
但是我没法度
将感情收拾
看着你爱别人
就亲像你爱我
等别人对待你亲像你对待我
按怎拢未心痛
爱着才知影痛
我已经没资格对你讲条件

i knew it

she won't even know when is my birthday nor will she care...

ah well....

i just think my friends are the best in the world haha

and my family too..

on my birthday i went eat at sakura international buffett with my dad..do not doubt it..it is JAP food but well the food there are mostly western and the sashimi is not fresh =( somehow i don't feel like it is a buffett where one eat a lot of nice food..down there i eat a lot of not very nice food and the price is expensive too...not to mentioned i had a stomachache afterwards..urghh..did i mention that the sashimi was not fresh??

then at night i went eat dinner with xt...haha treated her to korean food..well from food court since i am not that rich..lol..because it is a farewell treat from me..so yup...and we had ice kacang after my usual ban mian...

friday night i went to SICC with my friend..who treated me and my colleagues to western food..
haha then we played pool..quite cool haha

and today i went pooling with jonny too..

well my life is colourful enough with friends..

i think i need not find love anymore

tata

Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to ME...
Happy birthday to me!!

my age is starting with the 2-s now..no longer 19...i am going to turn 20 in 47 minutes time

my birthday wish is a secret

but i hope that everyone in my family will stay healthy

my dad and mum's business can be good
my sister's studies can keep improving and she can find a course she like and uni to go to
and i can find myself a decent medicine school to go and study and the girl in my life soon...hopefully i will be accepted....

all in all i also wish that all my friends, colleagues can have good health and will stay happy and cheerful..those who have gone overseas, please take care of yourselves..may you guys have fun and continue excelling in the various fields..and hope that we can meet again soon =)

now i shall have a good night sleep bah

斷線風吹的沉重　
心煩意亂要出航
薄情的靈魂　
是我感情的秋冬
孤單送行的人　
帶著心事目眶紅　
要走的人是甚人

對阮的愛是永遠　
偏偏乎妳沒半項
對阮的愛不願放　
是妳對阮的願望
海角天邊的怨嘆　
抱著青春將阮送
孤單送行的人　
不通傷心　
船要入港

斷線風吹的沉重　
心煩意亂要出航
薄情的靈魂　
是我感情的秋冬
孤單送行的人　
帶著心事目眶紅　
要走的人是甚人

對阮的愛是永遠　
偏偏乎妳沒半項
對阮的愛不願放　
是妳對阮的願望
海角天邊的怨嘆　
抱著青春將阮送
孤單送行的人　
不通傷心　
船要入港

對阮的愛是永遠　
偏偏乎妳沒半項
對阮的愛不願放　
是妳對阮的願望
海角天邊的怨嘆　
抱著青春將阮送
孤單送行的人　
不通傷心　
船要入港

a nice taiwanese song telling people not to be sad when sending others off..

sigh

another of my good friend has left again today...

went to see her off at the airport, she is going london to study law..

haha i will definitely miss her liveliness and energy around...

tmr..another of my good friend will be leaving too..for stanford...i don't know why so late but yeah....she is such a nice person who always encourage me and talk crap with me..so now i have one less person to talk crap with..

i hate this season again when i have to endure the funniness of sending someone off..knowing that the chances of meeting up again is maybe only 1 out of 10

*sigh...next month there will be somemore...=(

and i am already missing those who had already left....

alex, twinses, jiaqi....yanyi who just left this morning...urghh

and of course my friend in australia...whom i still miss dearly even though she has been there for 2 years already..

may fate bring us to meet again somewhere or somewhen in this world..

tell me how can i cheer up?..i think i need to learn to be happy...

three years ago, i met her..she was such a nice person..we started talking and crapping with each other...yeah rumours flew abound yet i thought nothing of it..thought that we were just friends...yet when after the exams, upon reflecting on my feelings, i realised that i had already fallen for her...when i was studying, she will appear out of nowhere in my mind..i would always yearn to receive her reply to the crappy stuff i sent her via sms..and would get very disappointed if she did not reply....is this what you do when you fall in love with someone.....and then the fear that you will not see her agin since we may go different places..but coincidentally, we met again...yet i had already bared my feelings to her and she had already rejected me...she told me that we should just be friends...now she seems very happy..perhaps she has found someone she like...

then two years ago...she is a very funny person..we met by coincidence through friends..but her humour and well lack of art talent made me laughed at her...we seemed to click very well..and when i was feeling sad, she will always encourage me..and yeah we were always teasing each other..well i thought i liked her..and many of my freinds also thought the same..i don't deny that i did admire her..but an advice from my friend told me that she already has someone on her mind and i decided that we should be friends which would be better...

fate took a turn, i met her..at the end of 2006, we knew each other for four years already...we sort of appreciated each other but yup were not very close though..we went out together once..yup..maybe humans are like this, whatever there are going to lose, they will appreciate the thing more... she is about to leave this place..i asked her if she is willing to be with me...she tell me that she is about to go and do not wish to be involved in a relationship now...but we are still friends, we sent emails to each other and kept in contact...

i like her...for slightly more than a year...i put in the most effort to go after her..even though i never say, my closest friends all thought that i like her..which is true...because they always laugh at me say that i always bully them yet when she say something, i will most willingly follow...and sometimes we got into conflict because of that..but they understood me..i am always happy that they stood by me even though they know i am bound to fail..she is a perfect girl, a girl that's impossible to find..we studied together..we joked around together...i will never forget to celebrate her birthday even though she always forgot about mine..i gave her a bouquet of flowers and a soft toy when we went out for movie with friends just around valentine's day...when she was working, i went alone to visit her to see her...when i went overseas, i always thought of bringing her a present, when it was a rainy day, i would ask her to take care...when she was feeling unhappy, i was unhappy when she feels cheerful, my mood clears up..yet i think i am not an important person to her bah...i liked her...when i told her, she just say that i am a great person but she doesn't like me that way and we should just be friends...my heart was broken..completely this time...fallen into pieces and shards...maybe i am clinging on to useless hope..but i did pass her the last present to bid her farewell..like what my good friend told me..she ask me to bring a closure to this sadness..she say that if i am not important to that girl, why must i keep trying since she will never appreciate my efforts...to that i don't know why..just hope that i can walk out of this one day...my another friend before he left tell me not to be sad anymore...there is treasure everywhere, i just need to appreciate things more and i would feel more happy...thanks for his support but now i don't think i am fully healed yet...

my colleagues at work always ask me why i like listen to songs that have sad lyrics, sad tunes..because i am feeling sad...and yes..i thank them very much that they would try to cheer me up..when i play games during work because i am bored..i just needed something to get me to think about other things other than her when i am not working so pardon me if you think that i am addicted to that game...sadly my office has two person that has same english name as her..how ironic..that i want to avoid thinking of her yet her name keep ringing in my ears....

don't know lah..i am already a numbed person..maybe i will laugh and smile still but that hurting feeling is still following me everyhere..i don't want to wallow in this..just hope time can heal all wounds..

是否很惊讶讲不出说话
没错我是说你想分手吗
曾给你驯服到就像绵羊
何解会反咬你一下你知吗
回头望伴你走
从来未曾幸福过
赴过汤蹈过火
沿途为何没爱河
下半生陪住你
怀疑快乐也不多
没有心别再拖
好心一早放开我
从头努力也坎坷
通通不要好过
来年岁月那么多
为继续而继续
没有好处还是我
若注定有一点苦楚
不如自己亲手割破
是否不甘心首先给撇下
换了你是我你忍得到吗
捱得过无限次寂寞凌迟
人心态早己看得化也可怕
回头望伴你走
从来未曾幸福过
赴过汤蹈过火
沿途为何没爱河
下半生陪住你
怀疑快乐也不多
没有心别再拖
好心一早放开我
从头努力也坎坷
通通不要好过
来年岁月那么多
为继续而继续
直接不过承认错
若勉强也分到不多
不如什么也摔破
难捱就无谓再拖
好心一早放开我
从头努力也坎坷
通通不要好过
来年岁月那么多
为继续而继续
没有好处还是我
若注定有一点苦楚
不如自己亲手割破

Listen to Your Heart-D.H.T
I know there's something in the wake of your smile
I get a notion from the look in your eyes yeah
You've built a love but that love falls apart
Your little piece of heaven turns to dark

Listen to your heart
When he's calling for you
Listen to your heart
There's nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going
And I don't know why
But listen to your heart
Before you tell him goodbye

Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile
The precious moments are all lost in the tide yeah
They're swept away and nothing is what it seems
The feeling of belonging to your dreams

Listen to your heart
When he's calling for you
Listen to your heart
There's nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going
And I don't know why
But listen to your heart
Before.... you tell him goodbye

And there are voices that want to be heard
So much to mention but you can't find the words
The scent of magic, the beauty that's been
When love was wilder than the wind

Listen to your heart (take a listen to it)
When he's calling for you
Listen to your heart (take a listen to it)
There's nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going
And I don't know why
But listen to your heart
Before oh... before you tell him goodbye

Listen to your heart (take a listen to it)
When he's calling for you
Listen to your heart (take a listen to it)
There's nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going
And I don't know why
But listen to your heart
Before you tell him goodbye

Gifts and Curses- Yellowcard
Mary belongs to the words of a song.
I try to be strong for her, try not to be wrong for her.
But she will not wait for me anymore, anymore.
Why did I say all those things before I was sure?

(She is the one), but I have a purpose,
(She is the one), and I have to fight this,
(she is the one), the villain I can't knock down.

I see your face with every punch I take,
and every bone I break, it's all for you.
And my worst pains are words I cannot say,
still I will always fight on for you.

Mary's alive in the bright New York sky,
the city lights shine for her, above them I cry for her.
Everything's small on the ground below, down below.
What if I fall, then where would I go, would she know?

(She is the one), all that I wanted,
(she is the one), and I will be haunted,
(she is the one), this gift is my curse for now.

I see your face with every punch I take,
and every bone I break, it's all for you.
And my worst pains are words I cannot say.
Still I will always fight on for you.

(Instrumental)

I see your face with every punch I take,
and every bone I break, it's all for you.
And my worst pains are words I cannot say.
Still I will always fight on for you.
Fight on for you...
Fight on for you...

i will try to cheer up...

today is the day i await so nervously, getting of out my bed blurry-eyed and ya immediately turning on the radio...to listen to what? the ops manning recall of course...

i listened to the radio the entire afternoon and nothing happened..

so i decided to go to the temple with my mum and sister who rarely goes out since she spends her time studying for her prelims and a levels nowadays..

along the way on the bus no.32, i was intensely staring at the tv mobile showing argentina vs nigeria..when i notice this boy sitting opposite me trying very hard to draw my attention..he waved at me to ask me to sit next to him..

-.-''' i was like what the man..then the guy sitting in front of him evacuated and i went over to that seat to get a better view of the screen..but he came over and sit with me again..

by now..i think something is wrong..and then he started talking to me..ask me which school i was from...all the way from JC to my Pri Sch..is this guy sent by the MSD or what? he also ask me how old i am and who is in my family, where is my dad now..is my mum at home..where is my sister studying, how old is my sister...do i have any brothers...

then he started ranting about his stuff while i politely answered his questions and continue staring at Messi do his mesmerising footwork...then he ask me where was i dropping...and i said Singapore Buddhist Lodge...he turned to his mum and when his mum told him where that was...he was very excited... i was like -.-'''

erm then i dropped off from the bus and he waved at me when the bus passed me again..as i waved back, my mum thought that he was my friend -.-'''

sigh after that i went to the nat library to borrow books...suddenly i saw that my mum called me from home..and say that she saw the little green man flashing on the tv screen..uh=oh.....i can't be heading back to camp in bermudas and sandals...

luckily upon checking, it wasn't my code that was flashing..luckily..otherwise a lovely saturday would be ruined for booking in..

but then come evening..i received a sms..a brilliant superior just asked me to help him arrange a meeting for tuesday.... i was like -.-''' must i work on this lovely saturday too? sigh....

yeah today is raining whole day..so those who go out please bring an umbrella and don't get sick...

ok i am feeling random now..lol

random

today went to the southern ridge walk that was newly set up only this year..some tree-top walk that links up the new Hortpark from alexandra road to mount faber...

well conclusion is very hot......because we did the freaking walk in the afternoon, right when the sun was freaking hot!

however, there were nice scenery along the way..got BENJAMIN tree haha..my colleague's name..as well as the sea view from the top...

i recommend this tree-top walk for couple in the late evening..sure very romantic..

"Wake Me Up When September Ends"

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends

like my fathers come to pass
seven years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends

here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are

as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when september ends

summer has come and passed
the innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends

ring out the bells again
like we did when spring began
wake me up when september ends

here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are

as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when september ends

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends

like my father's come to pass
twenty years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends
wake me up when september ends
wake me up when september ends

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me'
Til then I walk alone
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone
Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ahAh-ah, Ah-ah
I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Til then I walk alone...

nice song by green day-boulevard of broken dreams

today we had class outing to mind's cafe..

i thought that the service would be as good as the settler's cafe that we had been to last time, but then it ended up so lousy...i was so disappointed

we were forced to cram 11 person on two sofas and a few benchs, trying to play two different games on a small table..when we requested to have two tables, the waiters just told us that we should try play one game instead of two..and squezze ourselves...what kind of lousy suggestion is that?

and i seriously doubt the waiter's abilities..they seem to take forever for them to check if we can split into two tables and they did not even seem to be able to explain the games properly..:(

but overall..we had fun because we ened up talking crap and trying to force each other to mortgage the property to the other..playing monopoly and throwing negotiation terms that sounds incredulous here and there..lol

i still feel so empty after so long..i can't understand why...the wound is still not yet healed..whenever i am by myself..i will keep thinking of you....hopefully i can let go soon..

酒矸倘卖无(他没人关心)
酒矸倘卖无(他没有明天)
酒矸倘卖无(他只有寂寞)歌
酒矸倘卖无(酒矸倘卖无)
多么熟悉的声音
陪我多少年风和雨
从来不需要想起
永远也不会忘记
没有天那有地
没有地那有家
没有家那有你
没有你那有
假如你不曾养育我
给我温暖的生活
假如你不曾保护我
我的命运将会是什么
是你抚养我长大
对我说第一句话
是你给我一个家
让我与你共同拥有它
虽然你不能开口说一句话
却更能明白人世间的黑白与真假魁
虽然你不会表达你的真情
却付出了热忱的生命
远处传来你多么熟悉的声音
网 让我想起你多么慈祥的心灵
什么时候你才回到我身旁
让我再和你一起唱ｉ
酒矸倘卖无
酒矸倘卖无
酒矸倘卖无
酒矸倘卖无

"we rely on sight to confirm the existence of things. we don't believe in things that we can't see. so how do we know that no-see-ums exist? verification is ruled out by definition. it is an ontological quandary." from calvin and hobbes comic...


whoa i never know that such philosophical quotes exist in this comic strip that i just borrowed on a whim.

i am never a philosophical person, but i just seem to be fascinated by this quote, partly because my english vocabulary is quite weak and this quote attracted me because i did not know the meaning of two words in it...lol

anyway just for those who like to "think" to savour it!

this week si quite a messed up week..on wed i was supposed to conduct some morning physical training and because my friend stayed very far away, i did not want him to come so early to help..so i told him to ignore my superiors orders to reach at 7.00 am and to come at 7.30 instead...however, he ended up getting scolded for not reaching earlier...i explained to my superior but they told me to stop covering up for him...i feel very guilty and sad :(

because of my folly, i made my friend get scolded..sigh

and i know that his reputation among my supriors are already not that fantastic and now it has worsened...:(

then i watched this video clip on youtube..it was a song saying that we are always complaining too much, we complain that our car is not cool enough, our house not big enough. we complain that our food taste bad, our wives are ugly

but when the car is too chic, we are scared that it will be stolen, when the food is too good, we scared of getting high blood pressure, when the house is too big, we complain of the hassle to clean up, and when our wives are too pretty, we are scared that she might run away...

just what are we always complaining about, compared to the unfortunate people in africa who has no food, or those poor kids in rural india who still stays in unsanitized conditions or thos people in china who are living under no roof due to the disasters, we are a fortunate bunch...maybe we should stop complaining too much

we are really fortunate to have each other around us as friends and all...

em...

well...

i like my present posting because i have great partners like benjamin and cheo who always cheers me up and makes me laugh with their antics..

i also like my present posting because even though i am a strange person who likes to stay-in camp even though my camp is a stay-out camp, i still manage to find people like michael and adrian who stays in with me..

however, i don't like it here beause my superiors are vey naggy..and some are unreasonable, they flare up like unreasonable stoogies...and yeah have nothing to say..just that their arrows will fly any where...why aren't i an archer..i would have shot them back...

why didn't you tell me that you are back in singapore? do you know that i miss you so much...?
why can't we even meet up?

and why are you ignoring me? did i do something wrong?

sigh...

nejamin and cheo they all ask why i am smiling all the time..because if i don't smile, i will just be sad..and i am just trying to smile and laugh all the time so that the sadness will not overpower me...

forced happiness and how bitter it is, now i finally understand

i eat at cheapo hawker centre
you eat at posh restaurants
i watch dumb movies like "get smart"
you watch artsy movies like "there will be blood"
i listen to pop music
you prefer the indie type
i speak low class english
you speak perfect high class english
i buy my clothes cheap
you wear designer tees
who am i to kid
when i say that i have fallen for you
i think i am only a toad
lusting for swan's flesh
only a clown that's fooling around
you will never like me
because i am never good enough
all i want to let you know is that
even if i am only a joker to you
i am happy
because i can make you smile
and that's all that matters

just for you

后来　我总算学会了　如何去爱
可惜你　早已远去　消失在人海
后来终于在眼泪中明白
有些人　一旦错过就不再
槴子花　白花瓣　落在我蓝色百褶裙上
“爱你”　你轻声说
我低下头　闻见一阵芬芳
那个永恒的夜晚　十七岁仲夏　你吻我的那个夜晚
让我往后的时光　每当有感叹
总想起　当天的星光
那时候的爱情　为什么就能那样简单
而又是为什么　人年少时
一定要让深爱的人受伤
在这相似的深夜里　你是否一样　也在静静追悔感伤
如果当时我们能　不那么倔强
现在也　不那么遗憾
你都如何回忆我　带着笑或是很沉默
这些年来　有没有人能让你不寂寞
后来　我总算学会了　如何去爱
可惜你　早已远去　消失在人海
后来终于在眼泪中明白
有些人　一旦错过就不再
你都如何回忆我　带着笑或是很沉默
这些年来　有没有人能让你不寂寞
后来　我总算学会了　如何去爱
可惜你　早已远去　消失在人海
后来终于在眼泪中明白
有些人　一旦错过就不再
后来　我总算学会了　如何去爱
可惜你　早已远去　消失在人海
后来终于在眼泪中明白
有些人　一旦错过就不再
永远不会再重来
有一个男孩　爱着那个女孩

i like yesterday's steamboat outing

happy birthday xiao ting haha

sorry for being emo last night

i promise to be cheerful now on..

my heart hurts whenever i send you a message because you never reply
but when you did, my heart hurt even more......
maybe our game of hide n seek have ended
but i would rather that i had not heard your answer....

this world has been kind to me, to let me get to know you, to let me see you and meet you, be friends with you and let me fall in love with you...
in the end maybe we are just fated to be friends, good friends only and we will have to stop at that..i feel very sad that this is the end...

because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you
over again
don't make me change my mind
or i won't live to see another day
i swear it's true
because a girl like you is impossible to find
you're impossible to find

your arrows of love shot me and now i am bleeding from the hurt that it has caused me...yet strangely, i am willing to be on the receiving end of your cupid's arrow again

they say time will heal all wounds..*bitter smile i hope so and perhaps a change of environment can create wonders...

but all i can say is that my love for you will still be there...just like in this video...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blyz4zzruKE&feature=related

it is my favourite song =)

i hope it can show you amply how much is my love for you....

nah you won't even come here, what am i talking about, who am i kidding......

i am but a mortal...who has fallen in love with a princess of high esteem...
her high-class taste i tried to appreciate
her smile makes me smile,
her frown makes me frown
she controlled my emotions...yet now..all has come to a nought

please tell me that time can heal me of my wounds....

敢讲咱的缘分已经尽
空头情诗度阮后半生
红红的夕阳渐渐渐渐渐渐斜西边
你随彩霞慢慢慢慢慢慢消失我眼前

缘分已经尽
缘分已经尽
情网破碎啊
美梦化云烟
心痛交雨内
青春挂目屎
不甘
伤心
痛苦无人知
心爱再会啦
你是我
今生今世的最爱

敢讲咱的缘分已经尽
空头情诗度阮后半生
红红的夕阳渐渐渐渐渐渐斜西边
你随彩霞慢慢慢慢慢慢消失我眼前

缘分已经尽
缘分已经尽
情网破碎啊
美梦化云烟
心痛交雨内
青春挂目屎
不甘
伤心
痛苦无人知
心爱再会啦
你是我今生今世的最爱

缘分已经尽
缘分已经尽
情网破碎啊
美梦化云烟
心痛交雨内
青春挂目屎
不甘
伤心
痛苦无人知
心爱再会啦
你是我今生今世的最爱

a taiwanese song literally in taiwanese very sad song i am sad song

First one by me:

Hide n Seek

Baby, you look so chic
Make me wanna kiss your cheek
Your high-class taste I try to mimic
But in the end I am just too weak

Take you out for wagyu steak
All I got was your meek
How is it to make us tick
What is then the trick

Oh baby I am so sick
Of this game of hide n seek
Memory is like the basket wick
Weaving you into my mind every day and week
Oh baby you are my pick
I just wanna tell you really quick
Loving you is a habit that I just can’t kick

Baby, give your wand a flick
What you’ve got is magic
I know that I am not sleek
I am a sad case that’s tragic

To you I am only a prick
Some guy whom you just wanna get rid
No matter how hard I did
To you I will always be a geek

To you I just seem to be a greek
A stranger who is such an ick
Worthless like a block of brick

another one by me:

我爱你
很想你
你却说你很讨厌我
我到底该如何怎么作
才会让你爱上我

记得这个问题吧
难道我真的不好吗
给你的慰问没有回答
我的心真得很痛啊

海滩上白色的沙
告诉我是该放弃啦
我的心早已经被你践踏
泪水一直在心里割划

你的心里有另一个他
所以装不下我的牵挂
我想自己真的很傻
为何生日时还寄你贺卡

临别时送你的那一束花
只是最后剩下的潇洒
你不高兴我让你骂
那只是从前的回忆啊

生命力的酸甜苦辣
心中有说不出的话
对你的爱早已程式化
想要戒掉也戒不掉啊

a very nice cantonese song that i found

天涯侠医主题曲
爱亦近
林峰
如深呼吸貼近天空愛的心
從天災戰事助人夢裡飛行
願星光終照亮傾出愛的心
微風中笑著願隨互愛精神
心相近
愛越近
似夢似幻似是人生
雖偶遇挫敗有淚印
有淚與共結伴如今
秒秒更迫真

眼望見若意外情急
情總不自禁
能竭盡氣力作護蔭
我真心
就算犧牲
不需要問回贈
越過胸襟
將會讓過萬眾跳出抖震

无止境漂泊没掌声与欢欣
无声的国度助人梦里飞行
愿一天终听着歌声与欢欣
晨曦中暗地独随互爱精神
心相近 愛越近

約會約誓愛是情深
不會讓眼淚往下滲
有淚與共結伴如今
你我更相親
爱就要令告白情感
情總不自禁
如每段故事有烙印
又不禁
就算犧牲
不需要問回贈
越過胸襟
將會讓過萬眾跳出抖震

无止境漂泊没掌声与欢欣
无声的国度助人梦里飞行
愿一天终听着歌声与欢欣
晨曦中暗地独随互爱精神
心相近
愛越近
心相親
愛亦更

nice right? try listening lol

"Fall For You"

The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breathe
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Your impossible to find

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you i'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may of failed
But I have loved you from the start
Ohhhh

But hold your breathe
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
It's impossible
So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in
I'm yours to keep
And hold onto your words
Cuz talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When your asleep

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Your impossible to find

This is the song that best reflects my mood now..i seriously like you but i wonder if you would ever respond...haha i am posted to my new unit..hopefully will lead a nice life there...

用起伏的背影
挡住哭泣的心
有些故事
不必说给
每个人听

许多眼睛
看的太浅太近
错过我没被看见
那个自己
用简单的言语
解开超载的心
有些情绪
是该说给
懂的人听
你的热泪
比我激动怜惜
我发誓要更努力
更有勇气

等 下一个天亮
去上次牵手赏花那里散步好吗
有些积雪会自己融化
你的肩膀是我豁达的天堂
等下一个天亮
把偷拍我看海的照片送我好吗
我喜欢我飞舞的头发
和飘着雨还是眺望的眼光

用简单的言语
解开超载的心
有些情绪
是该说给
懂的人听
你的热泪
比我激动怜惜
我发誓要更努力
更有勇气

等下一个天亮
去上次牵手赏花那里散步好吗
有些积雪会自己融化
你的肩膀是我豁达的天堂
等下一个天亮
把偷拍我看海的照片送我好吗
我喜欢我飞舞的头发
和飘着雨还是眺望的眼光

时间可以磨去我的棱角
有些坚持却永远磨不掉
请容许我
小小的骄傲
因为有你这样的依靠

等下一个天亮
去上次牵手赏花那里散步好吗
有些积雪会自己融化
你的肩膀是我豁达的天堂
等 下一个天亮
把偷拍我看海的照片送我好吗
我喜欢我飞舞的头发
和飘着雨还是眺望的眼光

a nice new song which is quite cool

i like today's class outing but we did stupid things haha

等你等到我心痛
等你等到没有梦
所有感觉已成空
就让一切都随风

等你等到我心痛
我的心情谁会懂
所有真情的感动
已消失无影踪

爱你爱你始终
恨你恨你不懂
我付出的情有多深重
反反复复的爱不能相拥
我真的等你等到心痛
平平淡淡的爱怎能相容

Sean Kingston's Beautiful Girl

Damn all these beautiful girls
They only wanna do your dirt
They'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When they say it's over

[Chorus:] Your way too beautiful girl
That's why it'll never work
You had me suicidal, suicidal
When you say it's over
Damn all these beautiful girls
They only wanna do your dirt
They'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When they say it's over

[Verse 1:] See it started at the park
Used to chill after dark
Oh, when you took my heart
That's when we fell apart
Cause we both thought
That love lasts forever (lasts forever)
They say we're too young
To get ourselves sprung
Oh we didn't care
We made it very clear
And they also said
That we couldn't last together (last together)

[Pre Chorus:] See it's very devine girl
You're a one of a kind
But you mash up my mind
You walked get declined
Oh Lord... My baby is driving me crazy

[Chorus:] Your way to beautiful girl
That's why it'll never work
You had me suicidal, suicidal
When you say it's over
Damn all these beautiful girls
They only wanna do your dirt
They'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When they say it's over

[Verse 2:] It was back in '99
Watchin' movies all the time
Oh when I went away
For doin' my first crime
And I never thought
That we was gonna see each other (see each other)
And then I came out
Mami moved me down South
Oh I'm with my girl
Who I thought was my world
It came out to be
That she wasn't the girl for me (girl for me)

[Pre Chorus:] See it's very devine girl
You're a one of a kind
But you mash up my mind
You walked get declined
Oh Lord... My baby is driving me crazy

[Chorus:] Your way too beautiful girl
That's why it'll never work
You had me suicidal, suicidal
When you say it's over
Damn all these beautiful girls
They only wanna do your dirt
They'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When they say it's over

[Verse 3:] Now we're fussin'
And now we're fightin'
Please tell me why I'm feelin' slighting
And I don't know
How to make it better (make it better)
You're datin' other guys
You're tellin' me lies
Oh I can't believe
What I'm seein' with my eyes
I'm losin' my mind
And I don't think it's clever (think it's clever)

You're way too beautiful girl
That's why it'll never work
You'll have me suicidal, suicidal....

the song is very nice

花的心藏在蕊中
空把花期都错过
你的心忘了季节
从不轻易让人懂
为何不牵我的手
共听日月唱首歌
黑夜又白昼
黑夜又白昼
人生为欢有几何

春去春会来
花谢花会再开
只要你愿意
只要你愿意
让梦划向你心海

春去春会来
花谢花会再开
只要你愿意
只要你愿意
让梦划向你心海

花瓣泪飘落风中
虽有悲意也从容
你的泪晶莹剔透
心中一定还有梦
为何不牵我的手
同看海天成一色
潮起又潮落
潮起又潮落
送走人间许多愁

春去春会来
花谢花会再开
只要你愿意
只要你愿意
让梦划向你心海

春去春会来
花谢花会再开
只要你愿意
只要你愿意
让梦划向你心海

只要你愿意
只要你愿意
让梦划向你心海

a nice song...

不要问
不要说
一切尽在不言中
这一刻
偎著烛光让我们静静的渡过
莫挥手
莫回头
当我唱起这首歌
怕只怕
泪水轻轻的滑落
愿心中
永远留著我的笑容
伴你走过每一个舂夏秋冬

几许愁
几许忧
人生难免苦与痛
失去过
才能真正懂得去珍惜和拥有
情难舍
人难留
今朝一别各西东
冷和热
点点滴滴在心头
愿心中永远留著我的笑容
伴你走过每一个春夏秋冬

伤离别
离别虽然在眼前
说再见
再见不会太遥远
若有缘
有缘就能期待明天
你和我重逢在灿烂的季节

伤离别
离别虽然在眼前
说再见再见不会太遥远
若有缘
有缘就能期待明天
你和我重逢在灿烂的季节

伤离别
离别虽然在眼前
说再见
再见不会太遥远

伤离别
离别虽然在眼前
说再见
再见不会太遥远
若有缘
有缘就能期待明天
你和我重逢在灿烂的季节

不要问
不要说
一切尽在不言中
这一刻
偎著烛光让我们静静的渡过
莫挥手
莫回头
当我唱起这首歌
愿心中留著笑容
伴你渡过每个春夏秋冬

another nice song

别想你
忍不住我提醒自己
伤了心
有些事也要过去
心很痛
痛的不想再做我自己
别回头
情已去缘已尽
很想你
也不是因为失去你
爱了你
用尽我全心全力
一生情
只为这一次与你相遇
情难了 难再续 难再醒

人分飞　
爱相随
那怕用一生去追
我又怎么能追得回
与你相慰
我为你痴 为你累
风雨我都不後悔
我又怎么有路可退
曾经深情
你给了谁

(music)很想你
也不是因为失去你
爱了你
用尽我全心全力
一生情
只为这一次与你相遇
情难了 难再续 难再醒

人分飞　
爱相随
那怕用一生去追
我又怎么能追得回
与你相慰
我为你痴 为你累
风雨我都不後悔
我又怎么有路可退
我如何面对

人分飞　
爱相随
那怕用一生去追
我又怎么能追得回
与你相慰
我为你痴 为你累
风雨我都不後悔
我又怎么有路可退
曾经深情
你给了谁
final nice song lol

do you know how to get from boon lay to paya lebar with $0.67?
well i did that today without cheating SBS of money
the bus broke down just three stops away from my house and yup i had the majority of my ride free of charge
wonder if it was pure unclucky of me or lucky that i get to save 1 buck on my trip.

this has been a roller coaster week for me:
saw a pangolin in the training shed near my company line
quite cool i chased after it but it went to stroll along the road instead.
too bad saf doen't allow the use of camera otherwise i would have captured the surreal picture

somehow my plans for outings don't seem to materialise
can't help it, everyone is just so busy =(
and i am starting to miss people who are going to leave very soon and a sense of longing..
i hope i can stop angsting soon
for those two unfortunate NSF who had passed away, let's observe a minute of silence for them


one of my favourite songs

Christine Glass's My Love Will Get You Home

If you wander off too far, my love will get you home.
If you follow the wrong star, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If the bright lights blinds your eyes, my love will get you home.
If your troubles break your stride, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If you ever feel ashame, my love will get you home.
If its only you to blame, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone, get back on your feet and think of me,
my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home

If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home,
Boy, my love will get you home

they say that there is a melody for joy, a melody for anger, a melody for sadness
memories, bliss, youth, travel each have their own melody
but do you know that there is a melody for longing and a sense of missing somone whom you love dearly

that melody is now playing in my heart

thanks for friends who always stand by me, listening to me
lol i have been angsting most of the time but i am still quite cheerful and not under depression
now i feel like watching " You don't mess with Zohan"
just because of this catch-line in the trailer...
- ring ring
(cue electronic answering system)
-welcome to the hizbollah terrorist network hotline
-for weapon acquisition please press 1
-otherwise press 0 if you need to speak to our contact person

funny and witty i think this movie will be, so i want to watch it.. anyone interested?lol
yup bought the book The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini this morning..reading it now.
very intriguing the plot and touching but kinda depressing

sigh
ok sometimes life is unfair..when you work hard you don't always get the rewards due to certain reasons either luck or what
but we have to accept it c'est la vie as i had said before

ok option 4 for my future is out MOE rejected me
so leave lesser options..then we shall see

i hope my week ahead will be a good one and that next weekend, hopefully can meet up with some friends and just chat lol...

don't cry baby don't cry
don't sigh baby don't sigh
don't try baby don't try
let the tears just dry

decisions

now i am at the crossroads of my life!
for my higher studies:

option 1: stay in singapore, study at NTU, take the biochemistry and traditional chinese medicine double degree
advantages- can probably study medicine in the NUS-Duke medical school for post-graduate or go US do post-grad in medicine
disadvantage: i need a change of environment and this course takes too long..

option 2: apply medicine in germany
advantage: can go germany my dream destination and yeah study there and give myself exposure
disadvantage: expensive due to living costs and might not get in?

option 3: apply medicine in Taiwan
adavantage: cheap and quality of study is there
disadavantage: i will most like stay there and yup..settle down back where i came from since i won't be taking up singaporean citizenship and most likely stay with my family
currently this is also my best viable option to study medicine

option 4: hope that MOE give me scholarship go study linguistics in german in germany
advantage: go germany study for free and can travel around
disadvantage: how to get the scholarship when competition is so fierce..and being a teacher is my last career option

option 5: forget about medicine..let's study aeronautical engineering..in US or UK?
advantage: well teh course seems easier to get in and more universities to choose from..
disadavantage: money where art thou? scholarship? or bank loan..and for US my SAT needs major improvements man

so many choices..so many decisions to make..i am totally lost..is it because i am not focus enough in my career options...

sigh

i just went to watch black book..a very cool movie..
and i also watched narnia with alex lol

but as i walk alone on the streets...a sense of loneliness still engulf me..
maybe because i know...

let me go
let me be free
i shan't think of you anymore...

let me go
let me be free
i shan't be totured nomore


in this lonely lonely world
my heart is sore
i am sure that i saw
that my frozen heart will not taw..

this phone call
by the sea shore
will bring me forever more
heartbreaks

独自一个人走在街头
一个人慢慢地走
走到了一栋大楼
进去寻找那个某某

一个人独自看着电影
希望看见那个倩影
其实早已不相信
可以弥补那破碎的心

一个人孤单寂寞
一个人独自承受
有谁会去思念我
这一切都是我的错

错在我的天真
错在以为梦境会成真
只能够越陷越来越深
想要得到一个拥抱一个吻

孤单早已侵蚀我
心痛早已冲昏我
走出了这栋大楼
寻找不到那个某某

又再一个人向前迈进
独自一个人的旅行
你不回我的简讯
不在乎我是否不开心

一个人孤单寂寞
一个人孤单承受
思念一个人很痛

sadness

sian ah..double blow...
no medicine and got aslc..
what the worst outcome can i still get
i feel very sian now and dun feel like talking anymore
just let me emo
=(

Friends Forever

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we’re gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won’t be coming back
No more hanging out cause we’re on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don’t have another day
Cause we’re moving on and we can’t slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn’t know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and you
And then we got real blue
Stay at home talking on the telephone
We’d get so excited, we’d get so scared
Laughing at ourselves thinking life’s not fair
And this is how it feels

*As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come whatever
We will still be
Friends forever

So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?

Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won’t interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it’s not goodbye
Keep on thinking it’s a time to fly
And this is how it feels

*As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our live change
Come whatever
We will still be
Friends forever

La, la, la, la
Yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la
We will still be friends forever

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it’s like we’re WOMEN and MEN
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it’s not goodbye
Keep on thinking it’s a time to fly

As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come whatever
We will still be
Friends forever

a song for the class especially for those who had got into universities overseas and are leaving for studies this year.
Suddenly feeling angsty and this is not good. Probably because I know that when it comes to time for departure we will all miss each other terribly but no matter what where we go what we do, I know we will understand each other and continue to love each other dearly in our hearts =) friends foreva

你的脸庞是一首歌 在晚风中轻轻的唱 清澈明亮不会忘
你的拥抱是一首歌 在我怀里轻轻的唱 脆弱坚强我都不放
一天中最美的时光 为什么非得是夕阳
和从前每一天一样 我就站在这里眺望

我要 明天 你还在 我身旁 我答应你 会牢记这片灿烂的远方
我要 明天 你还在 我肩上 我答应你 会忘记有种感觉叫悲伤

this is a song我答应你 which is very nice and cheerful haha
which is quite cool
remember the support we gave each other during prep for a levels and the encouragement in the class ^^
we will always be a beautiful song in each and every of our heart

心没有芥蒂
只有纯纯的友谊
金黄的夏季
没有任何的猜疑

手中的铅笔
在纸上留下了笔迹
希望几行字能写下我们的友谊
海岸边的围堤
浪花的快慢缓急
恬静的美丽就能让我心旷神怡

那温暖的晨曦
想久缺的新鲜空气
我忍不住想留恋不想分离

你的美丽 让我只想和你在一起
永不分歧 心理不会再感到悲凄
你的鼓励 让我走完人生的阶梯
友谊永远长存不会但淡去

世间真理 难道我们不能够珍惜
不会忘记 你会永远存在我心里
成了知己 流下眼泪让友谊成立
你是唯一真善美的结合体

一束花的甜蜜 让幸福到处洋溢
不论身处在世界那方奔走东西
一页页的日历 记载了我们的回忆
我此刻希望我们的友谊能够坚持到底

something I came up with at a whim but well don’t seem good enough so the best is still this song by S.H.E called 痛快 which I like very much because it teaches us to let us put our spirit and energy in doing whatever, whether be falling in love or what which is quite true and to take an optimistic outlook in life so stay cheerful yea!!!!

痛快去爱
痛快去痛
痛快去悲伤
痛快去感动
生命给了什么
我就享受什么
每颗人间烟火
全都不要错过

每一天 都是一个节庆
每件事 都发生来丰富我的记忆
很好奇 还有谁等着闯进我日记
欢迎光临 亲爱的 请享用我的感情

痛快去爱
痛快去痛
痛快去悲伤
痛快去感动
生命给了什么
我就享受什么
每颗人间烟火
全都不要错过
痛快去感动

笑与哭都值得用力气
吻和泪 都是该表框纪念的痕迹
很乐意 每段路都有陌生人同行
爱或伤害都欢呼 都是活过的证据

痛快去爱
痛快去痛
痛快去悲伤
痛快去感动
生命给了什么
我就享受什么
每颗人间烟火
全都不要错过

艳阳暴雨
不要客气
请一直澎拜我 热切的血液
我活着的目的 就是活得鲜明

痛快迎接
痛快等候
痛快去试探
痛快去触碰
生命安排什么
我就感谢什么
每颗人间烟火
全都美丽了我

痛快去爱
痛快去痛
痛快去悲伤
痛快去感动
生命给了什么
我就享受什么
每颗人间烟火
全都不要错过
痛快去爱
痛快去痛
痛快去悲伤
痛快去感动
生命给了什么
我就享受什么
每颗人间烟火
全都不要错过
痛快去感受
haha must go field camp next week wish me luck at pulau tekong again

i am very sad..
you cheated me..
or was it i was too innocent
when i asked you out
you replied to ask me the time..
i say it depends on you
then u nevere reply
then i ask you again..u just say not free...
so was it that i misunderstood or what?
maybe even if i sms a thousand times, your reply will be the same..whether u be free or not
is it?
maybe i should just forget it
i am just wasting my messages..
whatever i say to u u dun care
whenever i am concern u dun care
when i look back
i have been the only one going after you and making u happy
were u there when i was sad?
no way...
maybe i should just stop myself thinking of you already
three years is enough

random

managed to survive my first week in sispec
i in bravo company
met very very cool frens there and jonny is in my section
i feel so happy got a lot of people to talk to lol
heard that bravo is quite physically strenuous
i hope i can survive future weeks
why are you so dao today..talk to you only get one-liner
sigh =(
ok i am feeling crappy and sleepy now need to book in on sunday again lol
hopefully next week will get better

going Sispec tmr
haha
hope that it will be ok
take care guys

sigh...
is it because everytime i ask you out, i am unlucky to pick a time that you are not free or that you just don't want to go out with me?
when i asked you last time, you said you will tell me when you are free...
and now..i have waited for more than two weeks without getting a reply....
i have given up...my time is up...i wish i could wait but the time doesn't permit...
is it because i have express my liking for you that now we are doomed to play hide-and-seek? you never even reply to my message when i asked you that question..

当我爱上你时，我愿意奉献我的全部的心，凭着真诚与执著，爱护着你，以你的幸福为首要顾念
do you understand i hope to be your angel..but i wonder if you will ever let me be there for you...

maybe it will take a miracle..maybe i should just give up...

anyway wanna go watch leap years..anyone interested can tell me...
sigh...
dunno why maybe when you can't have romance you desire to watch it and feel the love in the air lol...
haha anyway the movie is quite good or so i heard lol
so should watch and support local production
i feel liek watching rule no.1 too lol

haha

to those who are wondering
i am ok..not emotionally unstable..though i feel quite down but i am ok..seriously ok..
anyway that is only to those very precious few lol

the taiwanese election is coming up..my sister is very excited about it..
she seems to hate some particular candidate while i don't care...
i doubt my ex-GP teacher mr lim will approve of my apathy towards politics but heck care..i don't need to do GP now =)..whereas my sister is vehemently attacking some candidate lol...

ok..i have POPed for abt close to a week..so yup doing nothing much except visiting some bars and meeting frens at class outing...
lol
first i went crazy elephant at clarke quay..sorry to say the service was completely lousy..the waitress can't really understand english very well and was quite impatient =(
she keep coming back at us to bug us to order new stuffs..sigh...maybe it is just her..lol...or maybe we are just too poor to order more expensive stuff like singapore sling? haha well ns men don't earn much
secondly i went to harry's? at holland village cos my fren worked there..haha not being biased or what but her bar is much better at least got premier league football and noone keeps bugging me to get drinks..not that she will dare to lol and the cider she recommended taste good..sourish but still good..

finally went class sleepover..haha watched two towers and saw most of the people collapsed and snuggled up at the sofa..before the movie ended lol..slept for like 1 plus hours only and went to check up on those who played halo..they were sleeping already but the room was very cold and they didn't use blankets..sigh so i went to help cover them up =).. so that they don't catch a cold lol..

NUS open house yesterday..quite cool..but i went lotsa times so not very interestoing to me already and my balloon is already deflated..

that's the summary of my week..

sigh the person never reply me again...i asked if the answer was the same and the person refused to send me back the answer..so i took it to be the same..i know i am not a likeable guy and will never be to that person

never mind..i already expected such an outcome..so what else can i still hope for...
nothingness in my heart..so just let go...i will try to..

cumulative annoyance..
quite a cheem word that i have learnt today..maybe that describes me! a person who easily lapses into cumulative annoyance, that is i will annoy other people and irritate people easily with my constant buggings..
yeah..so from now on i better learn how to shut my trap..since people don't like me to talk..and don't like me to ask questions..i shan't do so..
just shut up! that's what i should do right?
sigh..even if i am concern about you, even if i say i misses you, honestly, do you care? or you just think i am crazy? maybe i think the answer is latter..
everytime i bare my feelings to someone..what i get will just be a cold shoulder in the future..maybe we even lost each other as friends!...how many times have i asked for a girl's hand and it ends up we will never ever talk to each other again..
am i that annoying and scary? maybe i am. andreas is right..i shouldn't brood over it..i am just immature..
do you think i dare tell you how i feel now...i don't want to lose you too much and all i can do is bottle this up..
when i saw you feeling jubilant, i wanted to hug you...but i didn't, knowing that your joy is yours, you will not share it with me..there are other people who you care more...i am just a normal person around..you will have a special one to celebrate with and i am not that guy

random stuff:
If you need a handsome boyfriend
i shouldn't be the one here
if you need an officer boyfriend
then i shouldn't be here

if you need a rich kid boyfriend
i shouldn't be here
if you need an athletic boyfriend
then i shouldn't be here

when you are down
i will be here by your side
leding you a shoulder for you to cry
but when you are celebrating
i sit aside
watching you from afar

do you know that i cheered for you
do you care about my feeelings at all
when i am down do you know
when i am happy would you give me a chance to celebrate with you
maybe it will be a miracle

i was just your sparetyre
while you continue to hunt for the better
i will always be the reserve
who will ever like me

noone care about my feelins
they used my heart and then they return it
tell me now what can i do
i am so hurt
i have no strength to love anymore

let me go
why can't you just leave me alone
if i messaged you just don't give me any hope

please..so what if i am heartbroken..c'est la vie...who will care? you have already trampled all over it, do you still want to crush it somemore..and stab your knife into all the chambers and ventricles? my heart doesn't exist anymore...so just leave me alone and let me be lonely by myself..