cumulative annoyance..
quite a cheem word that i have learnt today..maybe that describes me! a person who easily lapses into cumulative annoyance, that is i will annoy other people and irritate people easily with my constant buggings..
yeah..so from now on i better learn how to shut my trap..since people don't like me to talk..and don't like me to ask questions..i shan't do so..
just shut up! that's what i should do right?
sigh..even if i am concern about you, even if i say i misses you, honestly, do you care? or you just think i am crazy? maybe i think the answer is latter..
everytime i bare my feelings to someone..what i get will just be a cold shoulder in the future..maybe we even lost each other as friends!...how many times have i asked for a girl's hand and it ends up we will never ever talk to each other again..
am i that annoying and scary? maybe i am. andreas is right..i shouldn't brood over it..i am just immature..
do you think i dare tell you how i feel now...i don't want to lose you too much and all i can do is bottle this up..
when i saw you feeling jubilant, i wanted to hug you...but i didn't, knowing that your joy is yours, you will not share it with me..there are other people who you care more...i am just a normal person around..you will have a special one to celebrate with and i am not that guy

random stuff:
If you need a handsome boyfriend
i shouldn't be the one here
if you need an officer boyfriend
then i shouldn't be here

if you need a rich kid boyfriend
i shouldn't be here
if you need an athletic boyfriend
then i shouldn't be here

when you are down
i will be here by your side
leding you a shoulder for you to cry
but when you are celebrating
i sit aside
watching you from afar

do you know that i cheered for you
do you care about my feeelings at all
when i am down do you know
when i am happy would you give me a chance to celebrate with you
maybe it will be a miracle

i was just your sparetyre
while you continue to hunt for the better
i will always be the reserve
who will ever like me

noone care about my feelins
they used my heart and then they return it
tell me now what can i do
i am so hurt
i have no strength to love anymore

let me go
why can't you just leave me alone
if i messaged you just don't give me any hope

please..so what if i am heartbroken..c'est la vie...who will care? you have already trampled all over it, do you still want to crush it somemore..and stab your knife into all the chambers and ventricles? my heart doesn't exist anymore...so just leave me alone and let me be lonely by myself..