a dream last night

i met her in my dream last night, it was a rainy day, the sky was dark..we were walking on the streets...i was carrying an umbrella and so was she with someone else beside her...i saw a tattoo on her leg, or maybe it was just a drawing, but it seemed so vivid, with a heart shape and her initials..so i asked her if she already have someone else in mind, if she already liked someone else..that's why she decided to go that school, and she replied shyly, "yes!"..so maybe that was the reality that the dream wanted to communicate to me..

yesterday i went to the youth olympics village and on the way, shuo qian, veronica and I met the swedish triple jump athlete champion. she was with her coach and there were only 5 of us on the bus, it was uber cool and we chatted with them and took pictures with them..

at the village, i went to visit xin hui, and talked to her a while in her office where she was printing cert for the victorious athletes and after which the three of us hanged around, visited some of the athletes and then the booths =) i met the taiwanese athletes while veronica managed to chat with the colombians..we also caught a glimpse of Guo Jing Jing the china dive queen..then i made a peg and won a bookmark from the korean booth...

after that i decide to go back to bishan for my second shift of the day with athletics..on the way, it was pouring...the bus drove by innovation centre of NTU and i was reminded of the day when we went out alone together, on your birthday...i remembered we were wet, my umbrella was spoilt and you lent me your spare umbrella..we got our feet wet and the wait at the medical centre..i was reminded of you again..maybe that's why i dreamt of you last night..

i thought i can be strong and forget about you already but guess i still need some time...but i know that while volunteering, i have made many good friends and the time spent at YOG volunteering allowed me to concentrate on life and not think about you...

i really like my fellow colleagues at Bishan because they are all so friendly and we can feel the sense of teamwork and warmth of the friendship that we have established in this short two weeks..i guess i will miss the volunteering when i return to taiwan to study next monday..

time flies, and i will have to leave soon, leave singapore, a place where i have stayed for 15 years..maybe the taiwanese reporter is right..he told me i would not adapt to taiwan's way of life when i return but i guess i will just have to adapt..i was so frustrated by the stupid school website but my mum just tell me to get used to it..so i hope i will...i will miss my friends in singapore, whether friends i have known for so long since pri school or those that i have just made maybe like only last week...

nevertheless i know i am heading for new challenges in life...i will face it bravely and i know in taiwan i can meet fantastic people and find good friendship as well =) hopefully everything will go fine when i return next monday..wish me luck =)

p.s. today i went to shoot some hoops at the community centre and i was crowded out of the court by a bunch of uncle..they seemed fitter than me and some even have tattoo so i can't complain...well respecting the elderly is what we should all do right? haha

btw,

happy national day =)

i dunno whether if she is angry at me or irritated or what...i hope not but my hopes of asking her out to watch fireworks are dashed..thought it can be a romantic moment for us but guess i can't muster up the courage to ask her anymore since she already rejected me...i hope she can have a good national day and take care

一开始 我以为 爱本来会很容易
所以没有 经过允许 就把你放心里
直到后来有一天 你和他走在一起
我才发现 原来爱情 不是真心就可以

我感动天 感动地 怎么感动不了你
明明知道 没有结局 却还死心塌地
我感动天 感动地 怎么感动不了你
总相信爱情会有奇迹 都是我骗自己

以为自己不再去想你 保持不被刺痛的距离
就算早已忘了我自己 却还想要知道你的消息

我感动天 感动地 怎么感动不了你
明明知道 没有结局 却还死心塌地
我感动天 感动地 怎么感动不了你
总相信爱情会有奇迹 都是我骗自己

i thought that i can have a chance because you are different from the girls that i have liked before, i never have this sense of stability and comfort with any other girls before...but maybe i had made a mistake and yup although you would rather we remain friends, i hope to shower you with my love, whether it be friendship or something more =) i just hope that a miracle will happen and maybe you can turn around one day and see me still waiting by your side..i hope to be the guiding star in your life and you be the torch that brightens my path =)

i think i have again demonstrate my art on being insensitive to the max again..

rather than caring for another's feeling, i am emoing here and making someone else feel bad..

please do not feel bad, you've given me an answer so let's move on..

what i need is that we can treat each other like normal friends again that is not awkward and that you will not ignore me...

hmmm so yup please do not feel bad...

final closure

能不能让我陪着你走 既然你说留不住你 回去的路有些黑暗 担心让你一个人走

would you wait for me for 7 years?

would you treasure the time, though short while, that we spent together...

你想要的我却不能够给你我全部 我能给的却又不是你想要拥有的

i have the answers to your questions already, i should be feeling contented..because our friendship is still intact but frankly speaking, i still feel kind of disappointed that we have to stay like this...maybe you are right, friendship last longer than romance but i think if we put in the effort, we can have a future together though it be fraught with challenges, whether by distance or time...maybe i am still too innocent when it comes to relationships that i though things would be simple as long as both parties put in the effort but guess that's not true..

是不是可以牵你的手啊 从来没有这样要求 怕你难过转身就走 那就这样吧我会了解的

when u told me ur answer last night and made your stand clear to me, i was upset, hearbroken, i felt pain in my left ventricle and just felt like closing my eyes and sleeping off every sorrow in my bones, yet i could not fall asleep..i just stayed awake throughout the night, thinking,..yup you may laugh at me for being foolish and that i should just let it go, but i guess i need time and everytime i fell in love, i need a long time to recover...i am not a flirt and i treat every chance with yous eriously, maybe there might be misunderstandings but please believe me that my heart was filled to the brim by you already..

为你付出那种伤心你永远不了解 我又何苦勉强自己爱上你的一切 你又狠狠逼退 我的防备 静静关上门来默数我的泪

whenever i read something good, i want to share with you, any problems you encounter i would try to help you and i just hope that you can feel comfortable and happy with me so that things would slowly develop out..but maybe fate has a cruel twist that give me no time and that i have to confess so shortly even though when i leave, i leave to pursue my dream...maybe that is one challenge that i did not foresee...or naively thought we can overcome as long as we have an agreement, just like in drama or novel..but that is not true in reality..

如果大海能够唤回曾经的爱 就让我用一生等待 如果深情往事你已不再留恋 就让它随风飘远 如果大海能够带走我的哀愁 就像带走每条河流 所有受过的伤 所有流过的泪 我的爱 请全部带走

well..i know i will need sometime to recover and yup i know i will treat ypu as friends from now on, so do not worry and do not feel awkward..i really never ever regretted knowing you or even liking you even though it had only be unrequited...

please take care of yourself and i sincerely hope that u can stay happy and cheerful in your studies and also really if fate comes knocking on your door, i wish you all blessings...

i know time will heal all wounds but my heart has been broken so many times before already, now that it breaks, it will take sometime to heal...

ok i think i have emo enough already, time to stop griping and go exercise le =)

ciao, till the next time i blog again bah

lyrics of "Think of me"

Think of me, think of me fondly,
when we've said goodbye.
Remember me once in a while -
please promise me you'll try.
When you find that, once again, you long
to take your heart back and be free -
if you ever find a moment,
spare a thought for me

We never said our love was evergreen,
or as unchanging as the sea -
but if you can still remember
stop and think of me . . .

Think of all the things
we've shared and seen -
don't think about the way things
might have been . . .

Think of me, think of me waking,
silent and resigned.
Imagine me, trying too hard
to put you from my mind.
Recall those days
look back on all those times,
think of the things we'll never do -
there will never be a day,
when I won't think of you . . .

我竟然没有调头 最残忍那一刻
静静看你走 一点都不像我
原来人会变得温柔 是透澈的懂了
爱情是流动的 不由人的
何必激动着要理由

相信你只是怕伤害我 不是骗我
很爱过谁会舍得
把我的梦摇醒了 宣布幸福不会来了
用心酸微笑去原谅了 也翻越了
有昨天还是好的
但明天是自己的
开始懂了 快乐是选择

i dunno maybe i should learn from this song and find a way out of the deep crevice that i am in now..and crawl out from the hurt and face life again. most impt i should stop thinking abt you..so that there will be an end bah

The best thing 'bout tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before?
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you over again
Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed, but I have loved you from the start

Oh, but hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you over again
Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
It's impossible

So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in, I'm yours to keep
And hold on to your words 'cause talk is cheap
And remember me tonight when you're asleep

Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you over again
Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find

Tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you over again
Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find

this is the song that is playing on my head now with this other song:

What’s somebody like you, doing in a place like this?
Say did you come alone, or did you bring all your friends?
Say what's your name, what you drinkin,
I think I know what you're thinking.
Baby what’s your sign?
Tell me yours, I’ll tell you mine.
Say what’s somebody like you, doing in a place like this?
(1, 2, 3, come on!)

I’ll never be the same (if we ever meet again)
Won’t let you get away (say if we ever meet again)
This freefall (ahh), got me so (ohh), kiss me all night
Don't ever let me go.
I’ll never be the same (if we ever meet again)

Oohh, oohh say if we ever meet again

Do you come here much? I swear I’ve seen your face before. (beforeee, yeah)
Hope you don’t see me blush, but I can’t help but want you more, more.
Baby tell me what’s your story, I ain’t shy and don’t you worry.
I’m flirting with my eyes, wanna leave with you tonight.
Do you come here much? I gotta see your face some more.
Some more cause baby I,

I’ll never be the same (if we ever meet again)
Won’t let you get away (say if we ever meet again)
This freefall (ahh), got me so (ohh), kiss me all night
Don't ever let me go.
I’ll never be the same (if we ever meet again)

If we ever meet again, I’ll have so much more to say. (if we ever meet again)
If we ever meet again, I won’t let you go away. (if we ever meet again)
If we ever, ever meet again, I’ll have so much more to say. (if we ever meet again)
If we ever, ever meet again, I won’t let you go away.

I’ll never be the same (if we ever meet again)
Won’t let you get away (say if we ever meet again)
This freefall (ahh), got me so (ohh), kiss me all night
Don't ever let me go.
I’ll never be the same (if we ever meet again)

I’ll never be the same (if we ever meet again)
Won’t let you get away (said if we ever meet again)
This freefall (ahh), got me so (ohh), kiss me all night
Don't ever let me go.
I’ll never be the same (say if we ever meet again)

if time can be turned back, there are many things that i would like to do..but time cannot be turned back..so guess i can only move on..i should be grateful that we are still friends..yup so guess i should smile and leave with all the fond memories bah