today as i was on the mrt on my way home, i accidentally, note the word "accidentally" peek at the uncle who was messaging on his phone...

pardon me for being rude, but his message was kinda interesting so i continue looking...oops..i think i am getting more of a busybody..but here goes: "if given a choice, do you think you would love someone or love yourself more?" well this sound kinda familiar..so i started thinking the philosophical side of the question..hmm..relates back to the movie i watched yesterday..Vicky Cristina Barcelona...well Vicky is someone who loves someone more than herself..she has a nice marriage and she loves her fiancee..yet a chance encouter with the flamboyant artist Juan Antonio caused her inner flame to burn..she has an immensely deep affection for Juan Antonio yet her love for her fiancee outweigh her own love for herself to satisfy her needs and she broke off with Juan Antonio...on the other hand, Cristina is a person who loves herself more than anyone else..she loves Juan Antonio and would not mind sharing him with his ex-wife Maria Elena..and actually she was just loving herself, satisfying her sexual desires and finally departing when she feel that the desire for the both of them is no longer that strong..so well actually to the question, there is no ultimate answer and i would not even have an answer yet for such a heavy question now...

okay..anyway yesterday's movie was kinda messy..had a five minute interlude when everything went blank...but well GV is nice to give us complimentary tickets to compensate our emotional torture for the bloody five minutes when we have to stare at the blank screen and think what the heck is going on...

when i was on the train back today..was kinda emo and quiet..sigh don't really know why..but was just thinking and thinking..because i had read a novel in which the main character has so little memories of his past...seems like me..i seems to be forgetting my childhood days..or do i even have childhood days..the sweet times i had when i was in primarys chool and secondary schools..how can i keep in touch...i don't want to lose my memory...of teh precious moments i shared with my friends..

but now is a new chapter for all of us..but i will know that if i have flipped back to my previous chapters, i would like to see that they remained filled and i can recollect fondly of the nice, sweet people around me...i am beginning to stop missing the people who had left and i will not feel guilty because i know we will still remember each other deep down in our hearts...

if there is one thing i wanna rewrite, maybe to know more people better and to love her more bravely from the start