tell me how can i cheer up?..i think i need to learn to be happy...

three years ago, i met her..she was such a nice person..we started talking and crapping with each other...yeah rumours flew abound yet i thought nothing of it..thought that we were just friends...yet when after the exams, upon reflecting on my feelings, i realised that i had already fallen for her...when i was studying, she will appear out of nowhere in my mind..i would always yearn to receive her reply to the crappy stuff i sent her via sms..and would get very disappointed if she did not reply....is this what you do when you fall in love with someone.....and then the fear that you will not see her agin since we may go different places..but coincidentally, we met again...yet i had already bared my feelings to her and she had already rejected me...she told me that we should just be friends...now she seems very happy..perhaps she has found someone she like...

then two years ago...she is a very funny person..we met by coincidence through friends..but her humour and well lack of art talent made me laughed at her...we seemed to click very well..and when i was feeling sad, she will always encourage me..and yeah we were always teasing each other..well i thought i liked her..and many of my freinds also thought the same..i don't deny that i did admire her..but an advice from my friend told me that she already has someone on her mind and i decided that we should be friends which would be better...

fate took a turn, i met her..at the end of 2006, we knew each other for four years already...we sort of appreciated each other but yup were not very close though..we went out together once..yup..maybe humans are like this, whatever there are going to lose, they will appreciate the thing more... she is about to leave this place..i asked her if she is willing to be with me...she tell me that she is about to go and do not wish to be involved in a relationship now...but we are still friends, we sent emails to each other and kept in contact...

i like her...for slightly more than a year...i put in the most effort to go after her..even though i never say, my closest friends all thought that i like her..which is true...because they always laugh at me say that i always bully them yet when she say something, i will most willingly follow...and sometimes we got into conflict because of that..but they understood me..i am always happy that they stood by me even though they know i am bound to fail..she is a perfect girl, a girl that's impossible to find..we studied together..we joked around together...i will never forget to celebrate her birthday even though she always forgot about mine..i gave her a bouquet of flowers and a soft toy when we went out for movie with friends just around valentine's day...when she was working, i went alone to visit her to see her...when i went overseas, i always thought of bringing her a present, when it was a rainy day, i would ask her to take care...when she was feeling unhappy, i was unhappy when she feels cheerful, my mood clears up..yet i think i am not an important person to her bah...i liked her...when i told her, she just say that i am a great person but she doesn't like me that way and we should just be friends...my heart was broken..completely this time...fallen into pieces and shards...maybe i am clinging on to useless hope..but i did pass her the last present to bid her farewell..like what my good friend told me..she ask me to bring a closure to this sadness..she say that if i am not important to that girl, why must i keep trying since she will never appreciate my efforts...to that i don't know why..just hope that i can walk out of this one day...my another friend before he left tell me not to be sad anymore...there is treasure everywhere, i just need to appreciate things more and i would feel more happy...thanks for his support but now i don't think i am fully healed yet...

my colleagues at work always ask me why i like listen to songs that have sad lyrics, sad tunes..because i am feeling sad...and yes..i thank them very much that they would try to cheer me up..when i play games during work because i am bored..i just needed something to get me to think about other things other than her when i am not working so pardon me if you think that i am addicted to that game...sadly my office has two person that has same english name as her..how ironic..that i want to avoid thinking of her yet her name keep ringing in my ears....

don't know lah..i am already a numbed person..maybe i will laugh and smile still but that hurting feeling is still following me everyhere..i don't want to wallow in this..just hope time can heal all wounds..

是否很惊讶讲不出说话
没错我是说你想分手吗
曾给你驯服到就像绵羊
何解会反咬你一下你知吗
回头望伴你走
从来未曾幸福过
赴过汤蹈过火
沿途为何没爱河
下半生陪住你
怀疑快乐也不多
没有心别再拖
好心一早放开我
从头努力也坎坷
通通不要好过
来年岁月那么多
为继续而继续
没有好处还是我
若注定有一点苦楚
不如自己亲手割破
是否不甘心首先给撇下
换了你是我你忍得到吗
捱得过无限次寂寞凌迟
人心态早己看得化也可怕
回头望伴你走
从来未曾幸福过
赴过汤蹈过火
沿途为何没爱河
下半生陪住你
怀疑快乐也不多
没有心别再拖
好心一早放开我
从头努力也坎坷
通通不要好过
来年岁月那么多
为继续而继续
直接不过承认错
若勉强也分到不多
不如什么也摔破
难捱就无谓再拖
好心一早放开我
从头努力也坎坷
通通不要好过
来年岁月那么多
为继续而继续
没有好处还是我
若注定有一点苦楚
不如自己亲手割破

Listen to Your Heart-D.H.T
I know there's something in the wake of your smile
I get a notion from the look in your eyes yeah
You've built a love but that love falls apart
Your little piece of heaven turns to dark

Listen to your heart
When he's calling for you
Listen to your heart
There's nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going
And I don't know why
But listen to your heart
Before you tell him goodbye

Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile
The precious moments are all lost in the tide yeah
They're swept away and nothing is what it seems
The feeling of belonging to your dreams

Listen to your heart
When he's calling for you
Listen to your heart
There's nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going
And I don't know why
But listen to your heart
Before.... you tell him goodbye

And there are voices that want to be heard
So much to mention but you can't find the words
The scent of magic, the beauty that's been
When love was wilder than the wind

Listen to your heart (take a listen to it)
When he's calling for you
Listen to your heart (take a listen to it)
There's nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going
And I don't know why
But listen to your heart
Before oh... before you tell him goodbye

Listen to your heart (take a listen to it)
When he's calling for you
Listen to your heart (take a listen to it)
There's nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going
And I don't know why
But listen to your heart
Before you tell him goodbye

Gifts and Curses- Yellowcard
Mary belongs to the words of a song.
I try to be strong for her, try not to be wrong for her.
But she will not wait for me anymore, anymore.
Why did I say all those things before I was sure?

(She is the one), but I have a purpose,
(She is the one), and I have to fight this,
(she is the one), the villain I can't knock down.

I see your face with every punch I take,
and every bone I break, it's all for you.
And my worst pains are words I cannot say,
still I will always fight on for you.

Mary's alive in the bright New York sky,
the city lights shine for her, above them I cry for her.
Everything's small on the ground below, down below.
What if I fall, then where would I go, would she know?

(She is the one), all that I wanted,
(she is the one), and I will be haunted,
(she is the one), this gift is my curse for now.

I see your face with every punch I take,
and every bone I break, it's all for you.
And my worst pains are words I cannot say.
Still I will always fight on for you.

(Instrumental)

I see your face with every punch I take,
and every bone I break, it's all for you.
And my worst pains are words I cannot say.
Still I will always fight on for you.
Fight on for you...
Fight on for you...

i will try to cheer up...