48 hour duty on christmas eve and christmas day..

meant that i spent my lovely christmas in camp playing the psp cheo lent me!

well actually i need not do duty on both days..the duty clerk job on christmas eve is on pure goodwill..i decided to help after this poor chap whose dad has already passed away and his mum is also very ill came to my branch and look for the duty clerk planner to ask for a swap of duty..and he went with him around to look for replacement duty clerks but then noone willing to swap..so well i just have to help him..cos my family is overseas anyway so i have to spend my christmas alone might as well let him have more family time

then on christmas, i thought i could go home but then the duty spec that day never turn up cos he wasn't informed of his duty..maybe cos RO put my name but i know it was already changed by the guy who planned..then my senior who happened to be the DOO as well as the CDSO who seemed very nice just ask me to stay and help..so ok lah..i am fine with it..just feel a bit disappointed that i can't go home sleep so i stayed in camp and perform my duties..continue playing PSP lol..

so i am finally home on boxing day lol...but ok lah at least next week i can get ample rest...and today am on off lol..

anyway my dearest one..on christmas i am thinking of you very dearly but i wondered if your thoughts have ever strayed to me on this holy and joyous day..i just hope that you can have a blessed christmas and if you remembered me, do not tell me..cos i will just wait and continue to wait until the day you say yes to me..

爱已不能动
还有什么值得我心痛
想你的天空 下起雨来
没人心疼的黑夜
脸颊两行硷硷的泪水
是你 哦 是你
让我望穿泪水 肝肠寸断


你怎么舍得让我的泪流向海
付出的感情永远 找不回来
你怎么舍得让我的爱流向海
伤心的往事一幕幕就像潮水
将我掩埋

闭上了双眼 还看见和你的缠绵
眼角的泪水 喜不去心中一遍一遍的誓言

你怎么舍得让我的泪流向海
付出的感情永远 找不回来
你怎么舍得让我的爱流向海
伤心的往事一幕幕就像潮水
将我掩埋

對你的思念　是一天又一天
孤單的我還是沒有改變
美麗的夢　何時才能出現
親愛的你　好想再見你一面

秋天的風　一陣陣的吹過
想起了去年的這個時候
你的心到底在想些什麼
為什麼留下這個結局讓我承受

最愛你的人是我　你怎麼捨得我難過
在我最需要你的時候　沒有說一句話就走
最愛你的人是我　你怎麼捨得我難過
對你付出了這麼多　你卻沒有感動過

the song that reflects my mood now

會有那麼一天　－　林俊傑 (JJ Lin)

一九四三　世界大戰　阿嬤年輕的時候
爺爺愛她那麼多　他們感情很深
但是爺爺　身負重任　就在離鄉的那夜
給了阿嬤一個吻　輕聲說道

我要離去　別在哭泣　不要傷心　請妳相信我
要等待　我的愛　陪妳永不離開
因為會有那麼一天
我們牽著手在草原　聽 鳥兒歌唱的聲音
聽我說聲我愛妳　

夕陽西下　鳥兒回家　阿嬤躺在病床上
呼吸有一點散漫　眼神卻很溫柔
看著爺爺　濕透的眼　握著她粗糙的手
阿嬤淚水開始流　輕聲說道　

我要離去　別在哭泣　不要傷心　請你相信我
要等待　我的愛　陪你永不離開
因為會有那麼一天
我們牽著手在草原　聽 鳥兒歌唱的聲音
聽我說聲我愛你

i love this song man..

last night when dblo lol..

quite a cool place...will go there next time again if have chance...

love is a simple thing..but i dunno why

maybe it has always been a roleplay on my own.. thinking that prob that we have a chance even when she has left me two years ago and she has already rejected me then...

i keep thinking that maybe one day we can meet back here again...

but all that prob is just my imagination...

when i heard that she was back, but only through my friend..my mind was in a blank..it was an outing that night and i suddenly just didn't have the mood to say anything anymore...

i keep asking myself why she didn't tell me when she is back..why couldn't we meet...and i put it off as my selfishness...maybe she needs more family time, maybe she needs more time with her friends and maybe we are not really that close and i wouldn't be on her list of people whoms he wanna meet...

yes my heart do hurt..but i know i am already numbed..

my friends tell me to let go..i dunno if i should..because i always believe that even when there is one percent chance, we must not lose hope..but now i am beginning to doubt if this one percent was only part of my imagination...

i dunno how to keep on loving you anymore because i am already so tired..i think i need a break..maybe i am bugging you too much..maybe we all need some breathing space..and i am always the selfish one who is imagining too much..that we can be more than just friends..

maybe it's time to let go