today as i was on the mrt on my way home, i accidentally, note the word "accidentally" peek at the uncle who was messaging on his phone...

pardon me for being rude, but his message was kinda interesting so i continue looking...oops..i think i am getting more of a busybody..but here goes: "if given a choice, do you think you would love someone or love yourself more?" well this sound kinda familiar..so i started thinking the philosophical side of the question..hmm..relates back to the movie i watched yesterday..Vicky Cristina Barcelona...well Vicky is someone who loves someone more than herself..she has a nice marriage and she loves her fiancee..yet a chance encouter with the flamboyant artist Juan Antonio caused her inner flame to burn..she has an immensely deep affection for Juan Antonio yet her love for her fiancee outweigh her own love for herself to satisfy her needs and she broke off with Juan Antonio...on the other hand, Cristina is a person who loves herself more than anyone else..she loves Juan Antonio and would not mind sharing him with his ex-wife Maria Elena..and actually she was just loving herself, satisfying her sexual desires and finally departing when she feel that the desire for the both of them is no longer that strong..so well actually to the question, there is no ultimate answer and i would not even have an answer yet for such a heavy question now...

okay..anyway yesterday's movie was kinda messy..had a five minute interlude when everything went blank...but well GV is nice to give us complimentary tickets to compensate our emotional torture for the bloody five minutes when we have to stare at the blank screen and think what the heck is going on...

when i was on the train back today..was kinda emo and quiet..sigh don't really know why..but was just thinking and thinking..because i had read a novel in which the main character has so little memories of his past...seems like me..i seems to be forgetting my childhood days..or do i even have childhood days..the sweet times i had when i was in primarys chool and secondary schools..how can i keep in touch...i don't want to lose my memory...of teh precious moments i shared with my friends..

but now is a new chapter for all of us..but i will know that if i have flipped back to my previous chapters, i would like to see that they remained filled and i can recollect fondly of the nice, sweet people around me...i am beginning to stop missing the people who had left and i will not feel guilty because i know we will still remember each other deep down in our hearts...

if there is one thing i wanna rewrite, maybe to know more people better and to love her more bravely from the start

Yesterday went to see my friends, eileen and su hui at NTU..haha because my friend hua zhou ask me whether want to go crash their hall and so i agreed..

but firstly i went to find xin hui who is also studying at NTU lol..had dinner and after dinner, suddenly hua zhou and su hui came over to find me..after i had eaten lol..they met up first ...

after that we went to su hui's room, her room is kinda cool..has a lot of yummy food...oops i mean looks kinda cosy...quite small but all the necessary stuff all have..talked a bit..mostly listen to them talk while we wait for eileen to finish her basketball training....cos i am very tired..the previous few days have been sleeping after 12 am..

then eileen finally came lol..she ran all the way back..haha still as red as ever...then we went her room enjoy aircon and talk somemore..haha she mixed up her roomie's dad's crest as the one that can help prevent ghosts lol..but police's crest like no use leh..i think army one more effective lol...

yup then eileen ordered supper, but i already asked cedrick and benjamin eat with me at jurong point already so i didn't want to eat...and i am too tired..feel more and more sleepy and quiet...

but glad that they are doing well in NTU haha and glad to see them again after so long lol...

yup tmr will be out whole day again most likely..then sunday shall go hunt for a new phone...yea!!!! maybe tmr will also go drinking if i feel like lol...

auld lang syne cum angstyness

窗外的大雨　
淋濕冰冷的空氣　
好羨慕　天空可以哭泣

孤單的往前進　
我答應過我自己　
要贏到世界交給你

忘了多久沒有擁抱你　
我沒有流淚的時間　
沒有後悔的餘地

請原諒我那麼執著　
為了夢追到天空角落
伸手捉住風　我放開了你　
沒想過沒有溫度的愛有多痛

請原諒我讓你一個人過　
失去了你　還要夢想做什麼
這一次　我會握緊你的手　
一錯再錯　什麼都不懂的是我

都放在心裡　愛就失去了意義　
為什麼我到現在才醒
等待有多委屈　
你是否傷透了心　
告訴我來不來得及

忘了多久沒有擁抱你　
我沒有流淚的時間　
沒有後悔的餘地

請原諒我那麼執著　
為了夢追到天空角落
伸手捉住風　我放開了你　
沒想過沒有溫度的愛有多痛

請原諒我讓你一個人過　
失去了你　
還要夢想做什麼
這一次　我會握緊你的手　
一錯再錯　什麼都不懂的是我

請原諒我讓你寂寞　
這世上至少你要懂我
這一次換我在夜裡等候　
從今以後　你是我唯一的執著

sigh so many people have left. yesterday night, the last batch of people who are leaving for imperial had finally left..including my good friend ang xiao ting whom i will miss dearly, her mum treated us to popeyes haha at terminal 1..sigh and of course huanghuan..a friend of mine for seven years already

i went to the airport wanting to send only them off..in the end i ended up finding more familiar faces poping up at the same row in terminal 3 haha my army friend samuel from Bravo SISPEC, who got OMS Scholarsip, meihui and jasmine liu, my ex-prefect schoolmates, guiyi, a french connection cca-mate who claimed i daoed her when she waved at me and some more people..sigh..just too many people leaving

ok i think i should stop emo-ing while missing them, i must not forget that i still have very good friends here like jonny, benjamin, cheo, cedrick, michael, adrian, ian and the ever violent charmander and her "husband" ggy, as well as nelson, daniel, dylan, and all the rest haha so many to mention...

on hari raya, i sent her off too..i dunno why..i just stone there and maybe just said three words to her..take care, good bye and bon voyage...but well so she has left too..

i also begin to miss those who are overseas already..like alex, twinses..yanyi...and jiaqi..

sigh i really should stop angsting..

and i should start applying for overseas school which is going to be quite rush..so..well...

anyway..she still haven't replied to my question yet..i would always like to think that she is too busy to see my email..maybe that would comfort me more...maybe she is being happy now that she won't have the time to reply me..maybe i should just let her go...she is happy where she are now..doing her favourite degree, pursuing her favourite dance..so maybe i should be the one letting go of hope and give up..it was all unrequitted love on my part anyway...


彩虹
身为一道彩虹
雨过了就该闪亮整片天空
让我深爱的你感到光荣
身为一道彩虹
尽全力也要换你一段笑容
够了 我爱你 不必人懂
只要不醒过来 这就不是梦

请看着我 请拥抱我 体温别流走
好多话想说 好多事要做
请天空给我 请时间给我
再多一点停留

身为一道彩虹
雨过了就该闪亮整片天空
让我深爱的你感到光荣
身为一道彩虹
尽全力也要换你一段笑容
够了 我爱你 不必人懂
亲爱的你 若有感动 请牢记在心中

下一次下雨 你能看见的 那道彩虹
不再可能是我

身为一道彩虹
雨过了就该闪亮整片天空
让我深爱的你感到光荣
身为一道彩虹
尽全力也要换你一段笑容
够了 我爱你 不必人懂(只要你懂)
身为一道彩虹 ......

《外套》
我早该知道你只是偶尔的需要
习惯了你的味道挡风成了我的骄傲
每个心跳开始都计算不到
难道给我的回报只是陪你在他的怀抱
做你的外套只能穿梭你的外表
听到你对他的撒娇可笑的是我没资格计较
做你的外套拥抱著却不被拥抱
我是谁你知不知道怎能随便穿上又换掉
我能拥有什么答案早就明了
学会哭也能笑 oh no
怎么不听劝告怎么不被想要
还在为你效劳会不会疯掉
还在为你效劳你知不知道

finally a tribute to my friends

should all acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind
should all acquaintance be forgot and days of auld lang syne
for auld lang syne my dear
for auld lang syne
we'ill take a cup of kindness yet
for auld lang syne

不要问不要说
一切尽在不言中
这一刻偎著烛光
让我们静静的渡过
莫挥手
莫回头
当我唱起这首歌
怕只怕
泪水轻轻的滑落

愿心中永远留著我的笑容
伴你走过每一个舂夏秋冬

几许愁
几许忧
人生难免苦与痛
失去过才能真正懂得去珍惜和拥有
情难舍
人难留
今朝一别各西东
冷和热
点点滴滴在心头

愿心中永远留著我的笑容
伴你走过每一个春夏秋冬

伤离别
离别虽然在眼前
说再见
再见不会太遥远
若有缘
有缘就能期待明天
你和我重逢在灿烂的季节

i will miss you guys

为着你今天要来找我
从早上等到深夜
阮总是相信你会跟阮来作伴
犹原没影没只
我不敢想那没你甘会像我
按怎都我的生命
寒风也冷不过你对我的心肝
哪通糟蹋着我
爱着你心惊惊
想着你心痛痛
但是我没法度
将感情收拾
看着你爱别人
就亲像你爱我
等别人对待你亲像你对待我
按怎拢未心痛
爱着才知影痛
我已经没资格对你讲条件

i knew it

she won't even know when is my birthday nor will she care...

ah well....

i just think my friends are the best in the world haha

and my family too..

on my birthday i went eat at sakura international buffett with my dad..do not doubt it..it is JAP food but well the food there are mostly western and the sashimi is not fresh =( somehow i don't feel like it is a buffett where one eat a lot of nice food..down there i eat a lot of not very nice food and the price is expensive too...not to mentioned i had a stomachache afterwards..urghh..did i mention that the sashimi was not fresh??

then at night i went eat dinner with xt...haha treated her to korean food..well from food court since i am not that rich..lol..because it is a farewell treat from me..so yup...and we had ice kacang after my usual ban mian...

friday night i went to SICC with my friend..who treated me and my colleagues to western food..
haha then we played pool..quite cool haha

and today i went pooling with jonny too..

well my life is colourful enough with friends..

i think i need not find love anymore

tata

Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to ME...
Happy birthday to me!!

my age is starting with the 2-s now..no longer 19...i am going to turn 20 in 47 minutes time

my birthday wish is a secret

but i hope that everyone in my family will stay healthy

my dad and mum's business can be good
my sister's studies can keep improving and she can find a course she like and uni to go to
and i can find myself a decent medicine school to go and study and the girl in my life soon...hopefully i will be accepted....

all in all i also wish that all my friends, colleagues can have good health and will stay happy and cheerful..those who have gone overseas, please take care of yourselves..may you guys have fun and continue excelling in the various fields..and hope that we can meet again soon =)

now i shall have a good night sleep bah

斷線風吹的沉重　
心煩意亂要出航
薄情的靈魂　
是我感情的秋冬
孤單送行的人　
帶著心事目眶紅　
要走的人是甚人

對阮的愛是永遠　
偏偏乎妳沒半項
對阮的愛不願放　
是妳對阮的願望
海角天邊的怨嘆　
抱著青春將阮送
孤單送行的人　
不通傷心　
船要入港

斷線風吹的沉重　
心煩意亂要出航
薄情的靈魂　
是我感情的秋冬
孤單送行的人　
帶著心事目眶紅　
要走的人是甚人

對阮的愛是永遠　
偏偏乎妳沒半項
對阮的愛不願放　
是妳對阮的願望
海角天邊的怨嘆　
抱著青春將阮送
孤單送行的人　
不通傷心　
船要入港

對阮的愛是永遠　
偏偏乎妳沒半項
對阮的愛不願放　
是妳對阮的願望
海角天邊的怨嘆　
抱著青春將阮送
孤單送行的人　
不通傷心　
船要入港

a nice taiwanese song telling people not to be sad when sending others off..

sigh

another of my good friend has left again today...

went to see her off at the airport, she is going london to study law..

haha i will definitely miss her liveliness and energy around...

tmr..another of my good friend will be leaving too..for stanford...i don't know why so late but yeah....she is such a nice person who always encourage me and talk crap with me..so now i have one less person to talk crap with..

i hate this season again when i have to endure the funniness of sending someone off..knowing that the chances of meeting up again is maybe only 1 out of 10

*sigh...next month there will be somemore...=(

and i am already missing those who had already left....

alex, twinses, jiaqi....yanyi who just left this morning...urghh

and of course my friend in australia...whom i still miss dearly even though she has been there for 2 years already..

may fate bring us to meet again somewhere or somewhen in this world..