原來我們的距離一直都在
兩個階梯
是個偶然、還是命中注定呢？
我現在也習慣了，搭電扶梯時，必須離上一個人兩個階梯.....
因爲這是我們的小遊戲。

希望你能夠很幸福！
收到了你的簡訊，心中的空白終於完成了，我想沒錯，還是當朋友比較好。
我會珍惜這一段回憶的，還有我還記得我們之間的約定.....
改次（不對，這樣你又要叫我共匪了= =)，是下次！我們有機會再去鶯歌，雖然不知道要有多久了嗯

原來我不管到了哪裏，我都還是找不到....

我以爲在新加坡，我心碎了，到了韓國，一樣，現在連在台灣也是，那麽我還能夠逃到哪裏？

把痛苦自己吞忍，繼續保持微笑吧，我想我有身邊的家人和朋友就足夠了，我本來就不應該奢望什麽，是我太貪心了！

好像告訴自己不要苛責自己，任性一點，可是我的任性早已用完了，我的眼淚也早已乾涸了，剩下的只有現在的我。雖然不會不理性，可是心裏還是脆弱的。

今天要到平溪放天燈，本來以爲是尋找幸福之旅，結果卻成了忘卻煩惱的最佳抉擇，希望放了天燈，一切就能夠隨風飄散，而我的祝福也能夠傳達給你，也希望上天能夠看到我，繼續眷顧我。

我好像是最後才知道，不過我想已經無所謂了，演完今天這場戯，明天再傷心，後天就又必須繼續努力了。

我的悲傷留給我自己，你一定要幸福，這已經是我每次喜歡一個人，最後一定會發展出的結局，所以請把我的幸福一起算進去。

能不能讓我　陪著妳走
即然妳說　留不住妳
回去的路　有些黑暗
擔心讓妳　一個人走

我想是因為　我不夠溫柔
不能分擔　妳的憂愁
如果這樣　說不出口
就把遺憾　放在心中

把我的悲傷　留給自己
妳的美麗　讓妳帶走
從此以後　我再沒有
快樂起來的理由

把我的悲傷　留給自己
妳的美麗　讓妳帶走
我想我可以忍住悲傷
可不可以　妳也會想起我

是不是可以　牽妳的手呢
從來沒有　這樣要求
怕妳難過　轉身就走
那就這樣吧　我會了解的

把我的悲傷　留給自己
妳的美麗　讓妳帶走
從此以後　我再沒有
快樂起來的理由

我想我可以忍住悲傷
假裝生命中沒有妳
從此以後　我在這裡
日夜等待　妳的消息

能不能讓我　陪著妳走
即然妳說　留不住妳
無論妳在　天涯海角
是不是妳　偶爾會想起我
可不可以　妳也會想起我
可不可以

blog

well it has been quite a while since i wrote my last entry which was before summer holiday started :) so now while waiting to do my psychology experiment, i decide to blog!!!!

thank you everyone(whom i guess would not be checking here) for celebrating my birthday :) i am really happy when i saw the cake and the candles...while i was busy counting the candles to make sure they got my age right (well i am getting old so a bit concerned...), i did not realise that they had bought trick candles which cannot be blown out..so poor me, had to keep blowing at the candle which keep resparkling into life >< well i just hope that when they eat the cake, they did not get my saliva together as flavorings..it would have tasted bad!!!! thanks for organizing a surprise :) people like kar chun, aden, jay, roger, hangcai, amanda, debbie, shinmei, marion and vkee <3

last sunday was my birthday and time seems to fly so fast, i remember that when i first came back to taiwan to study last year, the first sunday was also my birthday :) and i celebrated it with my dad, this time round, not only did i celebrate with my dad and my cousin, i also celebrated with my friends :) old and new!!! i got a lovely guitar from jonny and i will start learning it next week!!!

nowadays i am a bit annoyed because people around seems to have changed a bit, or perhaps it is that i come to expect too much of others...anyway i decide to ignore them and just stick to people whom i concern and whom concern me :)

yay!!! tomorrow i am going somewhere fun :) to release sky lanterns and also see the waterfall with friends :) time to log off!!!

有些時候我真懷疑自己是不是個笨蛋！

打架魚， 我以爲我們能夠拉進彼此的距離， 可是我怎麽覺得我們越來越遠了呢？

可能是我想太多了。 今天一早，我就到了教室等你， 答應你的事我一定做到...所以笨笨的我八點半就到了課室， 笨笨的傳了簡訊，然後笨笨的等待。只因爲昨晚我心疼你晚睡，希望你能夠今天再看考古題，有問題我再幫你，可是或許你是拒絕了我吧。

看著你在很多人來了以後才進來，看著你寧願問別人問題也不問我， 看著你的一舉一動，我真的傷心了。 原來心碎就是這樣。打架魚，你知道我今天等你等很久，原來我在你心裏一點分量也沒有。

been wanting to post this entry many days ago..but i never really knew how to go about writing it until now...

夜黑夜寂寞的夜里 气生气对自己生气

sometimes i wonder if i should be so foolish, every lonely night i start thinking of you...makes me wonder if you ever really think of me...why is it that every time i log onto facebook, i will always see your entries...when i keep promising myself i should not read..but in the end i still read...wanting to know more about you from a distance..but do you ever read the entries i posted...

我的声音在笑泪在飙电话那头的你可知道 世界若是那麽大为何我要忘你无处逃
我的声音在笑泪在飙电话那头的你可知道 世界若是那麽小为何我的真心你听不到

i am not sure if i had done so..but i always tried to help you when you needed help..and there is no one around to help you...i always tried to keep you in sight and when there is problem and no one can help you, i will..even though you never ever approached me for any help..you would rather ask the others and talk to others but remain silent with me...the more silent you are around me, the more i do not know how to approach you and the more distant we are from each other...but do you know how i feel really deep down in my heart??

現在也只能欣賞　唯一的合照一張 淡忘了的是那個街角　想念的是當時的微笑

once before i thought we were friendly with each other..but now merely silence left between us..i wonder what made us grew apart but i never really can find the answer..maybe i am the one who started being silent as we saw each other less last time...but now when we can see each other more...and when i start feeling for you...i can look at the photo we took before together and just think..without knowing how to make us closer again

如果有一天　我們再見面　時間會不會倒退一點 也許我們都忽略　互相傷害之外的感覺
如果哪一天　我們都發現　好聚好散不過是種遮掩 如果我們沒發現　就給彼此多一點時間

last night...i felt really bad..seeing you being so close to others while i sat near yet felt so far..and really even though i have done my best....even doing things that i thought would make you happy, i never got back a word of thanks or yup you never even bother to approach me and ask me if i want to join you guys for dinner..so maybe i think i should give up and let go...

時光是琥珀 淚一滴滴 被反鎖
情書在不朽 也磨成沙漏

青春的上游 白雲飛走 蒼狗與海鷗
閃過的念頭 潺潺的溜走
命運好幽默 讓愛的人都沉默
一整個宇宙 換一顆紅豆

回憶如困獸　寂寞太久 而漸漸溫柔
放開了拳頭 反而更自由

慢動作 繾綣膠卷 重播默片 定格一瞬間

我們在告別的演唱會 說好不再見
你寫給我 我的第一首歌
你和我十指緊扣 默寫前奏
可是那然後呢
還好我有 我這一首情歌
輕輕的輕輕哼著 哭著笑著
我的 天長地久

命運好幽默 讓愛的人都沉默
一整個宇宙 換一顆紅豆

回憶如困獸 寂寞太久 而漸漸溫柔
放開了拳頭 反而更自由

長鏡頭 越拉越遠 越來越遠 事隔好幾年
我們在懷念的演唱會 禮貌地吻別

你寫給我 我的第一首歌
你和我十指緊扣 默寫前奏
可是那然後呢
還好我有 我這一首情歌
輕輕的輕輕哼著 哭著笑著
我的 天長地久

陪我唱歌 清唱你的情歌
捨不得 短短副歌
心還熱著 也該告一段落
還好我有 我下一首情歌
生命宛如 靜靜的 相擁的河
永遠 天長地久

i will always try to be nice to you, but you never really know and understand...or even appreciate..maybe you take my niceness for granted and maybe even if i am not nice to you, maybe someone else will...so you will never ever wonder that one day i will be tired and i will no longer help you....maybe it does not mean anything to you....

i always wonder why is it that it is so difficult to find someone who will love me and whom i love as well..but my roommates told me last night that it IS difficult..so hard..sometimes happiness can be simple yet so far to reach....when can i ever write the love song with the person i love??

perhaps letting go is what i have to do now....i have so many nice friends around me and yes, probably you shall stay as a friend who is so distant that i may forget...the world's cruelest thing is that we may be so close physically but our hearts are so far apart...but i will have to bear with it...

changing an environment doesn't help..love never work out for me in singapore, korea and now even my last haven taiwan remain a place of heart-breaking...yet i know i have the support of friends and family members around me :)

it has been a long time since i last blogged...

well certain things i try to forget and after such a long time, i think i know how to put it behind my back and move on...

anyway...alright after such a long while, the body starts to malfunction again...suffering from a sore throat right now and feeling not really good...mid-terms are in around a week's time and really feel unlucky to be sick now...

well never mind, i will hang in there...just like i have always done...no concern is fine by me...i am a big guy, i will self-heal without other's help...well when i am tired, i have to hang on myself..who will give me the encouragement or who will take care and be concern?? well i don't want my family folks to be worried...so i will just do my best to get myself right again....visit the doctor on monday is probably a good idea...

sometimes i wonder if i am a bad guy..i know i am terrible to be with..never nice..perhaps that's how i feel all the time...sometimes you wonder if being concern about others is good..maybe i should care more about myself, because ends up hurting myself all the time...being aloof is perhaps what i should learn..just do what i need to do and stop being foolish..my concern is never appreciated so what....maybe like that i would feel better if noone reciprocates the kindness..ha

like i say..i am the big brother..so i will hang on...i will stay cheerful and optimistic...when i am feeling low, just hide one corner and self-heal..that is probably the super power i should have now...no need radioactivity dust, i know i have already mastered this skill...

ok time to sleep...after waking up tmr, i shall be a strong man again

a dream last night

i met her in my dream last night, it was a rainy day, the sky was dark..we were walking on the streets...i was carrying an umbrella and so was she with someone else beside her...i saw a tattoo on her leg, or maybe it was just a drawing, but it seemed so vivid, with a heart shape and her initials..so i asked her if she already have someone else in mind, if she already liked someone else..that's why she decided to go that school, and she replied shyly, "yes!"..so maybe that was the reality that the dream wanted to communicate to me..

yesterday i went to the youth olympics village and on the way, shuo qian, veronica and I met the swedish triple jump athlete champion. she was with her coach and there were only 5 of us on the bus, it was uber cool and we chatted with them and took pictures with them..

at the village, i went to visit xin hui, and talked to her a while in her office where she was printing cert for the victorious athletes and after which the three of us hanged around, visited some of the athletes and then the booths =) i met the taiwanese athletes while veronica managed to chat with the colombians..we also caught a glimpse of Guo Jing Jing the china dive queen..then i made a peg and won a bookmark from the korean booth...

after that i decide to go back to bishan for my second shift of the day with athletics..on the way, it was pouring...the bus drove by innovation centre of NTU and i was reminded of the day when we went out alone together, on your birthday...i remembered we were wet, my umbrella was spoilt and you lent me your spare umbrella..we got our feet wet and the wait at the medical centre..i was reminded of you again..maybe that's why i dreamt of you last night..

i thought i can be strong and forget about you already but guess i still need some time...but i know that while volunteering, i have made many good friends and the time spent at YOG volunteering allowed me to concentrate on life and not think about you...

i really like my fellow colleagues at Bishan because they are all so friendly and we can feel the sense of teamwork and warmth of the friendship that we have established in this short two weeks..i guess i will miss the volunteering when i return to taiwan to study next monday..

time flies, and i will have to leave soon, leave singapore, a place where i have stayed for 15 years..maybe the taiwanese reporter is right..he told me i would not adapt to taiwan's way of life when i return but i guess i will just have to adapt..i was so frustrated by the stupid school website but my mum just tell me to get used to it..so i hope i will...i will miss my friends in singapore, whether friends i have known for so long since pri school or those that i have just made maybe like only last week...

nevertheless i know i am heading for new challenges in life...i will face it bravely and i know in taiwan i can meet fantastic people and find good friendship as well =) hopefully everything will go fine when i return next monday..wish me luck =)

p.s. today i went to shoot some hoops at the community centre and i was crowded out of the court by a bunch of uncle..they seemed fitter than me and some even have tattoo so i can't complain...well respecting the elderly is what we should all do right? haha